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Divorce - General, Laws and Process
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You might not want to share personal information with your soon to be spouse or their attorney, but the images and updates you share online provide insight into your life and activities, whether you like it or not. From the multiple ways that information can be posted by and about you (including your own posts and posts from your friends and family) to the admissibility of your online posts, messages and photos, the social media giant can impact your case.
A recent article in the Family Court Review explored the myths and truths about self-represented litigants in divorce. The author (Greacen) cited a legal white paper which claimed that self-represented litigants (“SRLs”) strain the court system, burden judges, and do a poor job.
It might be that way for kids facing their first post-divorce holidays. Feelings of anxiety, sadness, and loneliness are common and it might feel a bit better to know you are not alone.
Divorce brings many changes. One of the most difficult is for a spouse that sacrificed career and work to manage the home and family. Divorce creates an obligation to participate in creating income while transitioning from a single household to two households.
What does it look and feel like? Answers may not be clear at first, but the process of defining your life and creating the picture of moving forward is often helpful. Many find divorce creates a need to redefine the picture, or fantasy, of what we thought our life would look like.
Divorce is on the rise. What is a good divorce? There may be many definitions floating around but, after 20 plus years working with families of divorce, both as therapists and divorce mediators, our definition of a “good divorce” is one that recognizes the marriage may have ended but the relationship existed.
Interestingly the impact and finality of divorce is different for not only each individual and each couple, but for everybody involved in their lives. From the inside looking out, individuals go through the grief and loss of divorce in multiple phases. For some the emotional divorce is over before the legal divorce begins.
In light of the financial decisions needing to be made, California requires that the couple make full disclosure to each other on all sources of income, expenses, properties and liabilities (California Family Code 2100 et seq).
Statistics from the National Federation of Independent Business state that one million businesses are co-owned and managed by married couples. Many married couples decide to run a business together, each performing those tasks that are most closely aligned with their individual skill set.
Some people believe that cohabitating before marriage decreases the risk of divorce for a couple. Others believe that cohabitation can doom a marriage before it even begins.
The military divorce laws in California are extremely complicated and can be overwhelming for those in that position. Either spouse could be active duty, retired or in the guard or reserve and can be impacted.
The problem with rumors is that they are too often treated as fact. This often is the case in marriage and divorce. For instance the common belief that fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce is only true to the extent annual divorces outnumber marriages two to one. That is different than saying half the marriages will end in divorce.
If you act inappropriately by being rude or disrespectful or not mindful of the judge’s orders or comments, then you will dig yourself a hole that it is nearly impossible to escape from. If the judge gets upset with you, then that judge will remember it, and what happened, for the duration of your case.
Going through a family law case is agonizing emotionally, taxing financially, complicated, confusing, and expensive, regardless of whether you and your spouse are getting along or at each others throats, whether you have an attorney (or attorneys) or not, how much education you have, or how much money or how many children you have.
Many couples come into divorce lawyers or divorce mediators offices ready for a divorce. But are they? If you study the histories of marriage and divorce, you come to understand why the divorce rate is so much higher today than long ago.
When you file for a divorce, whether you are the Petitioner or the Respondent, you mark your reason for the filing.
In order to satisfy the residency requirements to get a divorce, or dissolution of marriage in the State of California, at least one of the spouses must have been a resident of California for at least six 6 months prior to filing the Petition for Dissolution, and a resident of the particular County where the action is to be filed, for at least three 3 months prior to the filing.
One can be preoccupied after setting sail in the Sea of Divorce with the anticipation of storms, leaky boats, shortage of life jackets, and the other perils of Mother Nature. There may not be time or energy to consider that your ship is leaving behind the only port you ever knew.
Many couples are unaware of the effects of separating as a prelude to divorce. The key questions are: (1) why does it matter?; and (2) when does separation begin?
The overall cost of your divorce can be impacted by several behaviors you may be able to control. When a marriage dissolves there are several important topics that need to be addressed and sorted out, such as child custody, visitation, division of property, and support.
In the United States, statistics indicate that half of all marriages will end up in a divorce or legal separation. Often people do not differentiate between divorce and legal separation - both refer to a situation where a couple decides not to live together any more. However, being separated is much different than being divorced.
Either spouse can get a divorce simply by stating in the divorce papers that "irreconcilable differences" have caused a breakdown in the marriage. If both spouses are in agreement that there should be a divorce, they can agree in writing (called a ’stipulation’) that the marriage can be ended.
California follows the no-fault divorce concept. In other words, in California, a dissolution of marriage can be granted if the court finds there to be irreconcilable differences that have caused an irrevocable breakdown of the marriage. In effect, this means that if a married person wants to end their marriage, that person can do so, even if the other spouse does not want to end it.
For parents of minor children who want to know what ALL the options are when thinking about divorce, hear this. A mind works best, like a parachute, when it is open.
Conflict before, during and after a divorce is inevitable. Yet, if the conflict continues, you’ll never reach an agreement. Over 95% of all divorce cases ultimately settle, so you’ll deal with the conflict sooner or later.
Beyond the economic disasters of divorce, there the situation of sanity, which seems to make a quick getaway during this tumultuous time. But the reality can hit much harder than anticipated. Read on for more information on how mediation can help save your equilibrium - and your future.
If you live in North San Diego County (north of Del Mar, on the coast, or north of Rancho Bernardo, inland), your case will most likely be filed in the Superior Court at the North County Court Complex in Vista, California.
Going through a divorce is a very difficult ordeal. Its a time to have a good lawyer, counselor, and supporting friends. Its a time to avoid as many unnecessary life changing decisions as possible although many will have to be made.
A divorce court will attempt to divide the property of a marriage in the most economic manner possible, provide each spouse with the right to remarry and set reasonable support. In California, the property division involves an equal split of all property acquired by the parties during the marriage, from their work effort.
Divorce is wrought with cost. The emotional cost of a failed relationship. The cost to children living in a two home family. The cost of maintaining two households. Then, of course, there is the cost of a lawyer.
The divorcing persons guide to the psychological warfare of words that may be expected over the next several months.
Jurisdiction issues in divorce are more complex than those in civil cases. The jurisdictional requirements for an order or judgment for support or attorneys’ fees are entirely different from those to obtain custody.
Existing law sets forth the requirements of a valid marriage, and specifies the rights and obligations of spouses during marriage.
A good family law attorney can discuss the different legal options you have when you face a domestic dispute. Is divorce the answer? Is there an alternative? How should I protect myself during reconciliation attempts? A family law attorney can give you information as to your options, even if you’re not sure about divorce.
There are many stereotypes about divorce that receive a lot of attention in the media but can be quite harmful to both women and men.
A dissolution proceeding is initiated by the filing of a Petition by one party. The Petition is then served (either personally or by mail) upon the responding party. The party originally filing the Petition is known as the Petitioner and the other party is known as the Respondent.
A dissolution of marriage does not end the relationship between you and your former spouse Rather, it begins a new, and often painful process of restructuring your relationship. working together, you can create a new relationship as friends and Co-parents of your children.
Many remedies are available to enforce court orders, both with respect to custody, as well as with respect to child and spousal support orders.

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Either parent may be ordered to pay an amount necessary for the support, maintenance and education of the child. Child support is calculated using the California child support guidelines. An amount different from that which is produced using the guidelines may be ordered based on specific deviation factors and also at the discretion of the court.

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