Children’s Bill of Rights in a Divorce

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Information Provided by: Divorce Source, Inc.

The best interest of the children means what a judge says it means, but courts go to extraordinary measures to protect a minor child. For example, in many jurisdictions the judges tacitly or explicitly consider what is called "Children’s Bill of Rights" in contested custody decisions.

Here is a list of a Children’s Bill of Rights, which are considered in all custody decisions to be in support of the best interest of the children:

A continuing relationship with both parents
Being seen not as a piece of property, but as a human being recognized to have unique feelings, ideas, and desires consistent with that of an individual
Continuing care and proper guidance from each parent
Not to be unduly influenced by either parent to view the other parent differently
Expressed love, friendship, and respect for both parents
Freedom from having to hide those stated emotions or made to be ashamed of such
An explanation that the impending action of divorce was in no way caused by the child’s actions
Not being the subject and/or source of any and all arguments
Continuing, honest feedback with respect to the divorce process and its impact on the changing relationships of the family
Maintenance of regular contact with both parents and a clear explanation for any change in plans and/or cancellations
Enjoyment of a pleasurable relationship with both parents, never to be employed as a manipulative bargaining tool

While the language may vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, the logic is clear:

The divorce is not the fault or responsibility of the child.
Both parents, the custodial and the noncustodial, are important to the child’s well being.
A child is not property, and his or her custodial parent does not own him or her. The child is not to be enlisted as an ally or spy in continuing disputes between his parents.
The "expressed love, friendship and respect" of both parents is equally important.
The impending divorce ends the marriage of his or her parents; it does not end their parental responsibilities to the child.

Information Provided by: Divorce Source, Inc.

Useful Online Tools

Custody Junction^TM - Easily schedule, track and monitor current and future custody, visitation, and support arrangements.
Online Parenting Plans - Our Online Parenting Plan Softare will allow you to create and execute your very own parenting plan.
Mandatory Parenting Class - This service if for you, whether you are court mandated or if you simply want the best, up to date information about how to keep your kids healthy and safe throughout the divorce process.
DivorceDesk^TM - Build and manage vital divorce documents and letters online for free!

Child Support:
Child Support Decrease Request Letter - Payor to Payee
Child Support Increase Request Letter - Payee to Payor
Child Support Review Request Letter - Payee
Child Support Review Request Letter - Payor
Child Support Suspension Request Letter - Payor
Paternity Verification Letter - To Father from Mother
Paternity Verification Letter - To Mother from Father

Child Custody & Visitation
Character Reference for Child Custody
Demand Letters for Child Access/Visitation
Denial of Child Access/Visitation Letters
Letter to Non-Custodial Parent of Intent to Relocate With Child(ren)
Power of Attorney for Temporary Guardianship of Child(ren)
Request Letter to School to Provide Information

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THE DON’Ts – Good parenting through divorce has a dimension that is negatively defined. Good divorced parents do not speak badly or make accusations about the other parent in front of a child. They do not force a child to choose sides, or use a child as a messenger or go-between, or pump a child for information about the other parent, or argue or discuss child support issues in front of a child. In short, they do not use a child as a pawn to hurt the other parent.