• Custody: often physical to the mother and shared legal to both parents
• Visitation: the days and hours when the noncustodial parent visits the children and overnight visits and the protocols for picking up and returning the children
• Holidays and vacations and birthdays and special days
• Schooling, with sufficient details so that the noncustodial parent can participate
• Child Support, with sufficient detail about the terms and conditions of payment
• Recreation, which may mean limits on television or computer use
• Dating, which establishes the protocols for the introduction of new partners into the lives of the children
• Medical care, with sufficient detail so that both parents know even routine medical and dental care events
• Dispute Resolution, which means the protocols for enlisting third-party mediation when the parents cannot resolve the problems themselves
• Revisions and Updates, which establishes the rules and consensus about revising the plan

• A good parenting plan is specific enough to be useful, but general enough to be flexible
• When implementing a parenting plan it is important that the parents stick to the schedule, no matter how difficult it may be for either parent. This will give the child some sense of trust
• Younger children need greater predictability. Parents must be aware that they need to work together in order to create a harmonious environment
• Parents must consider the age of the children when designing the plan
• A parent must be aware of the other parent's schedule and work out a realistic plan that can be followed by both of them
• This keeps conflicts to a minimum

Q. Why is a parenting plan important for divorced parents?

A. Because custody and visitation are very often two flash points between divorced couples, a good parenting plan goes a long way toward eliminating issues that can become inflammatory.

Q. How does a parenting plan help divorced spouses?

A. Divorced parenting is more difficult because the spouses are now seldom together to reinforce one another. A parenting plan, though obviously not as good as two parents physically present, reinforces the agreement that both parents create. For example, the plan may allow for only so much television watching per day. Because this is stipulated in the plan, television watching is no longer "on the table," that is, no longer open to negotiation.

Q. What can parents write in the plan?

A. Within reason, spouses can write anything into the plan. No one right plan exists; anything that works is fine. A parenting plan deals with the nuts and bolts of custody arrangements and the specifics of visitation by the noncustodial parent, such as schooling, special days and dates and contact by noncustodial parent. The plan is often built around a core schedule of hours and days when the noncustodial parent takes charge of the children. The plan is a trellis that supports divorced parenting.

Q. What should divorcing parents remember in writing a plan?

A. No judge knows the children as well as his or her parents. If the parents cannot negotiate a plan themselves, the courts will do it for them, but courts would much prefer that the parents do it. Most of the time the parents are left with the responsibility of making arrangements.