The Different Age Stages as they Relate to Divorce
How children adjust to the divorce relates directly to how a parent adjusts to the divorce. The way the family operates can be quite varied, according to the age, gender, and number of children. After the divorce is over, children react differently, according to the support they get from their parents, how much tension there is in the family, and how visitation affects them. However, even at the onset, children react differently.
Outcomes of Divorce
Children may choose to not get involved at all, or they may get to the point that they are overly involved with the separation of their parents. It is very common for an adolescent to side with one the parent and at the same time try to terminate the relationship with the other. The parents need to find some sort of balance between themselves and their children. The parents should discuss with their children how they want the living arrangements to be and from there they should also discuss how they want to handle visitation. Openness in the relationship is very important if any child is to grow up an emotionally stable individual.
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THE DON’Ts – Good parenting through divorce has a dimension that is negatively defined. Good divorced parents do not speak badly or make accusations about the other parent in front of a child. They do not force a child to choose sides, or use a child as a messenger or go-between, or pump a child for information about the other parent, or argue or discuss child support issues in front of a child. In short, they do not use a child as a pawn to hurt the other parent.
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