Getting Back Together
Many marriages have survived the beginnings of such a ruthless confrontation. The thought of divorce can strengthen the marital bond. Fortunately, many spouses discover the depth of their love and commitment during the divorce process. Obviously, many marriages have folded very quickly under the stress and thought of a divorce. After awhile, many people realize the stress the dissolution of marriage is placing on them is unbearable. Others realize the marriage was not as bad as once thought. They realize that there are ups and downs in any marriage, and their marriage was not any different. The presumption of the grass being greener on the other side is found to be unrealistic. Others tend to initiate the divorce process as a means to manipulate their spouse by making him or her submissive. After this strategy fails, they try to make amends and rekindle the marriage. This is dangerous if you are on the receiving end. Once you get back together, you most likely will only continue to be manipulated and deceived.
You must be aware of the pitfalls of making up. Many spouses are suckered into believing their marriage was reawakened with a new found strength and deepened love. Only to find, 6 months later, their spouse again initiates a divorce.
If you are in this position of vulnerability, think clearly, and act professionally. You should cover all of your legal and financial bases. Put into place safeguards for your future emotional and financial security should your relationship eventually collapse. If you have already filed for divorce and regret it, the first step is to file with the court a motion of reconciliation. This tells the court both you and your spouse have agreed to try to save the marriage. Most states have laws, which are designed to protect husband, wife, and the sanctity of marriage. The second step is to proceed with caution. Rebuild your relationship slowly on a basis of trust. As we know marriages are fragile, especially those rebounding from a near divorce. Every marriage is worth trying to save, but at the same time each marriage is unique and requires extensive evaluation by both spouses.
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AFFIXING BLAME -- Marriage isn't a centerpiece of someone's life; it's a part of someone's life and when things go wrong, it's easy to blame the marriage because that's the thing that is most prominent.
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