Separating Divorce Fact from Fiction
Key Points
  • Divorce is a life changing, traumatic experience. Do not make the divorce into a fiction story. Separate fact from fiction when it comes to giving your side of the story, if you must give your side at all.
  • At some point you will get back to a new normal, a different normal, but normal nonetheless.

Sometimes, in the aftermath of a divorce, a person cannot separate fact from fiction. Fact is an unbiased observation of the events; fiction is the story created out of our unresolved emotions from the past. For example, saying "my husband left me" is a statement of fact, but saying "my husband left because I am unworthy of love" is a fiction incubated by the pain of divorce. Saying, "my husband emptied out our checking account" is factual; saying "my husband has deceived me and ruined my life forever" is a fictional exaggeration. Saying “my child had an emotional episode at school" is factual, but saying "my child has been damaged for life by my separation" is a fiction. Distinguishing the facts of our lives from the fiction lays the foundation for acceptance.

A divorce is not simply just a judgment written on a piece of paper, anymore than a marriage license is just a piece of paper. A divorce is a major life change and stressor that can attack the body, mind and soul. A divorce is the death of a marriage, and a person must allow for time and space to mourn the loss.

One day, down the road, almost all divorced people feel normal again. Although it may feel otherwise, the pain and suffering - the grief of the moment - is not permanent. Recovery works its chemistry. A person finds new interests, new hobbies, meets new people, joins new clubs. Most people take it slow at first.

Divorce can be a traumatic experience that makes it difficult to move forward. When children are in the picture, the situation can be even more intense as children often get caught up in the aftermath of divorce.

Suggested Reading
The Divorce Recovery Journal The Divorce Recovery Journal
An interactive book of insightful observations splashed with humor, useful advice on divorce and starting over, and space for your personal journaling.

Author: Linda C. Senn

Recent Related Blog Posts
    All Life After Divorce Blog Posts

Related Article Archives
Life After Divorce
Counseling Issues
Domestic Violence
    All Article Archives

Related Categories
Affairs & Divorce
Divorce Recovery
Friendly Divorce
Parenting Through Divorce
Surviving Divorce
    All Categories
Related Forums
Helping Children
Life After Divorce
    All Forums

Resources & Tools

Bookstore Promotion Discount

Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code:


Featured Book The Divorce Recovery Journal

The Divorce Recovery Journal

The Divorce Recovery Journal

Guarantee Official PayPal Seal Facebook Twitter Versign Secure Site