It’s quintessentially unromantic, but apparently a rising trend, to present your soon-to-be spouse with a prenuptial agreement; the “just-in-case-this-doesn’t-quite-work-out” agreement. Maybe you’re the starry-eyed first-timers with little assets to lose. Or perhaps you’re a second or third-timer, blending families with your partner, where statistically 70% of these unions will fail. For you, a prenuptial agreement may be just the thing to help you walk down the aisle again and give love another chance. Suggesting a prenuptial agreement is an opportunity to have an important conversation that will affect how you live your lives as a married couple, with a clear understanding of what happens if you decide to go your separate ways.

When thinking about what your future holds and taking steps to protect yourself, think about all of the “what ifs” that are likely and unlikely to occur, and then agree how to handle those events.

Make a list of the assets and debts you each currently hold in your name, and think about your intentions with respect to those assets/debts. Will they remain separate and distinct property, or, might these be inter-mingled with your marital property? What if one person’s asset is used to pay off the other person’s debt (for example, school loan or credit card debt) will the paying party need to be reimbursed, or will it be treated as a gift? What if you use premarital property to buy a new home or other asset you’ll own together? Making these decisions before you tie-the-knot will hopefully avoid later arguments.

These are the assets and debts you will both accumulate together as a married couple. Think about how these will be handled during your marriage. Are you the saver and your soon-to-be spouse the spender? (Typically, there’s one of each in every union!) This arrangement can work, so long as you each understand the other’s money habits and have worked out a way to assure that your needs and concerns are properly addressed. Before merging your financial worlds, you might want to determine:

Consider the past when planning the future. Relationships can waiver when one is a spender and one is a saver. Plan ahead to avoid joint credit issues, such as pledging your home as collateral for a new business venture or using a home equity line to pay for a new boat or recreational vehicle. If one or both of you have bad credit, owe back taxes, or have other skeletons in the closet, now is the time to make some decisions about how these will be managed going forward.

Are your work ethics aligned? Do you value his work around the house? Does he believe that raising children has monetary value? If you can foresee or anticipate a career change now or in the future, have you planned for or thought about what might happen if you are no longer bringing home a paycheck? What if you are laid-off? Disabled? Think and prepare for these possibilities.

Since the laws vary from state-to-state, do you want to create and agree to your own terms, which may differ from what state law permits? Once you are married, is it the expectation that you will both work and contribute equally to the household? What if there is a change in circumstance causing one of you to leave the workforce, will this affect how you view the need for spousal support?

Individual or Marital? If you receive a gift from a family member, will this be owned jointly or by the person whose family gifted the item? What if an inheritance is used or commingled with a marital asset? Similarly, if a family member loans you money, who will be responsible for repaying the debt?

If you have determined that your finances will remain separate and distinct, will you also file your taxes separately? Are you concerned that your partner won’t file his/her taxes properly and may expose you legally? Does either partner have any historical issues with the IRS that may affect the other partner down the road? Is a refund at risk of being seized because of an old debt? Consulting with an accountant, financial planner and/or tax attorney should be a priority.

Does it make sense to renegotiate the agreement after 5, 10 or 20 years? Will certain life events impact how you feel about your security?

Do you or your spouse own a business? If so, perhaps consider whether to agree to a forensic accounting review or auditing of the business’s financial records in the event of a separation or divorce. Planning ahead with how you will approach dividing this asset may save a lot of heartache down the road.

It is important to have a thorough estate plan in place soon after your wedding, particularly if you have children from previous relationships, so that the disposal of your estate meets your intentions if you were to suddenly pass away. Think about:

The final topic, which should always be addressed in any prenuptial agreement, is the decision whether to litigate or mediate future disputes. Consider the benefits of including a clause that directs you towards mediation, collaboration or another alternative dispute resolution method rather than litigation.