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Parenting Conflicts

I am always asked, “Why should I use the collaborative process?” There are many reasons. Many couples are fortunate that they can calmly work out what they want to do with their children and their property even though they are getting a divorce. These couples can usually simply hire an attorney to do an uncontested divorce.

But there are many other couples who don’t want to subject themselves to a battle with all of the pain and uncertainty that might inflict on their children. They have tried to work out a parenting plan but they just can’t agree. The collaborative process allows them to:

  • Use a child specialist who can talk to the children, find out where they are emotionally and make recommendations to the parents about what the children need;
  • Use divorce coaches to talk to the parents and find out what the emotional stumbling blocks (distrust, fear, anger, alcohol or drug issues) are and suggest ways of dealing with these issues so that both parents can be involved in their children’s lives after divorce;
  • Use attorneys who are going to be focused on coming up with solutions to the desires of the parents as communicated by the divorce coaches and assisting the parents in focusing on the needs of the children as communicated by the child specialist.

The parents may come in convinced that they cannot solve this problem without a judge deciding for them. The collaborative process allows the parents (with the assistance of all of the professionals in the process) to fashion their own solution that works for their family.

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