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The Divorce Doctor

If you have had surgery, a baby or a broken bone you know first hand how difficult recovery can be if you fail to follow the doctors orders. If you are reading this you can probably attest to the fact that healing physically is usually much simpler than healing emotionally. I am here to offer you a word of hope and encouragement along with some practical tools that will aid you in your healing process.

Unfortunately, for all of us that have experienced the ills of divorce there is no "cure" for the wounds that divorce inflicts. However, I am here to suggest that you can become better and not bitter as a result of this life trial. Have you ever stopped to consider that perhaps your divorce occurred in your life to teach you a vital life lesson? With all the pain that you are going through what will you take with you from this situation? If you have not learned something valuable - even life changing I would like to suggest that you take some quiet moments and reflect on what happened. What was your role in the failure of your marriage? How will you be different in the future?.

Once you have a clear view of what has occurred you will truly be ready to begin your recovery. Here is my general prescription for you:

  • Discover the new you! The person you were before marriage is not the same person you are now that you are single again. Take some time to get to know yourself and gladly embrace your "whines."
  • Develop a new support system. While some folks may remain in your circle of intimates don't be surprised if "friends" become strangely silent or even disappear. Whether they've taken the other "side" or simply feel uncomfortable with you understand that your marriage is not the only broken relationship that you will have to deal with at this time.
  • Do NOT jump into another relationship. If you had a broken leg would you attempt to ski with a cast? Hopefully, the answer is a resounding NO. You do not want to risk further damage to your current injury. The same is true with your heart. You need time to correctly heal. Becoming involved in a new relationship before you are healed muddies the water and prevents you from doing, giving, and being your best.

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