Succumbing to the Other Side’s Mental Engineering During Divorce
Key Points
  • Filing for divorce is emotional enough even without allowing your spouse to get into your head. Make sure you are keeping your emotions in check before undertaking a divorce or custody battle.
  • Keeping yourself calm and not allowing your spouse to get under your skin will help you make better decisions especially when your children are involved. Do not get caught up in bad-mouthing or threatening your spouse.
  • Before any challenges arise or a battle ensues, it might be beneficial to contact a therapist, talk about any issues you are going through, and at the very least, build up your support system to feel more empowered and not intimidated.

Another common mistake you must not make is to allow the other side’s head games to bother you. Before you embark on a divorce or custody fight, even before you go lawyer hunting, take an emotional inventory. Do you feel scared, angry, weak, powerful, afraid, confused? If you feel angry and powerful, that’s great. If you feel weak, afraid, or confused, you need to get your thoughts organized and make a plan so you can start to feel less so.

Once the fight begins, not only will you be under siege legally, but you will be under attack mentally and emotionally. Not only will your spouse be your adversary, but he or she will have a powerful ally in the form of an obnoxious, intimidating attorney. You will have to be, and you can be, strong enough to withstand this attack.

If you want (and can afford) the help of a therapist, by all means, explore this option, as long as your lawyer has no objections. Align yourself with friends, neighbors, family, support groups, spiritual counselors, parents of your children’s friends, and anyone else you can think of. Remember that roughly half of all marriages end in divorce. You are not the only one going through this. There are people out there who have been where you are, or are where you are, who can help you. They can say and do things that will help you maintain a positive attitude.

It is up to you to ask for help when you need it and to take care of yourself as the battle rages. Think of yourself as a football player. When a play-off game is approaching, football players eat right and exercise. They eliminate distractions from their lives so they can train for the big game. They analyze the opponent’s strengths and weaknesses and plan a strategy accordingly. They don’t cower in fear and fantasize about the worst. Rather, they ready themselves for the fight. This is how you should approach your lawsuit. One thing you can do to prepare yourself for the fight ahead is to anticipate the four most common mind-manipulation techniques employed by divorcing spouses:

  • Threats and intimidation
  • Criminal charges
  • Spouse-bashing and brainwashing of children
  • Psychologists and other paid experts



   
 
The Divorce Source Network Find Divorce Professionals:
   

Join the Divorce Source Network Advertise With Us


Useful Online Tools
  • Divorce Case Management Software - Designed to empower the lawyer-client relationship. Gain the advantage with good organization and communication.
  • 3StepNegotiationTM - You will be surprised how easy it is to resolve your disputes through our innovative Divorce Negotiation CenterTM. It's FREE. Give it a try.

Recent Related Blog Posts
    All Working With Lawyers Blog Posts

Suggested Reading
How to Hire the Right Divorce Lawyer How to Hire the Right Divorce Lawyer
No one wants to hire a divorce lawyer, but the fact is that millions of men and women go through divorce and custody proceedings every year. Many people believe that any lawyer can and will protect them from the potential nightmare of a domestic lawsuit. In reality, the lawyer can become part of the nightmare instead. You owe it to yourself-and your kids-to hire the best lawyer possible.

Download Now


Suggested Reading
Should You Switch Lawyers? And How to Do It! Should You Switch Lawyers? And How to Do It!
This book supplies the knowledge you will need to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of your divorce lawyer and guide you in making an educated decision on whether or not it is in your best interests to switch to a new lawyer.

Download Now


Related Article Archives
Client/Attorney Relationship
Collaborative Law
Divorce Arbitration
Mediation
    All Article Archives

Related Categories
About Professionals Collaborative Law
Divorce Laws
Divorce Negotiation
Divorce Process
    All Categories
Related Forums
Lawyer Issues
Mediation
    All Forums

Resources & Tools

Bookstore Promotion Discount

Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.
   
ATTORNEY MALPRACTICE – Losing a case is not malpractice, and malpractice does not include generalized unhappiness with the outcome of a divorce action (very few people are ever happy at the conclusion of a divorce).
Start Divorce

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code:

 

Featured Book How to Hire the Right Divorce Lawyer

How to Hire the Right Divorce Lawyer

How to Hire the Right Divorce Lawyer

 

Featured Download Should You Switch Lawyers? And How to Do It!

Should You Switch Lawyers? And How to Do It!

Should You Switch Lawyers? And How to Do It!

Guarantee Official PayPal Seal Facebook Twitter Versign Secure Site
Limited Offer Women's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"The Absolute Best Investment in Your Divorce"

Men's Rights Manual For Divorce
Cover Price: $55.95
Your Price: $29.95
You Save: $26.00

"Uncover Your Options and Unleash Solutions"