Divorce Pain and Suffering - Battles
Key Points
  • In the midst of a divorce battle women are not guaranteed an award of custody.
  • In a contested divorce with children, mom must prove to the court why it is in the best interest of the children to stay with her.
  • Joint custody is often in the best interest of the child and parents should love their children more rather than winning the custody battle.
  • Divorce and custody disputes hurt the child much more than the parents.

And unfortunately, despite the emancipation of women, child custody and visitation battles remain a common feature of many bitter divorces. While women generally have an advantage here, a mother cannot automatically assume she will be awarded custody of the children in contested cases. In the event of a dispute, a mother must prove to the court that her custody is in "the best interest of the child." In practice, unfortunately, this often means documenting the shortcomings of her estranged husband.

When couples cooperate, courts increasingly award joint custody because the routine puts childrearing upon the shoulders of both parents. In fact, some jurisdictions could now work from a presumption that joint custody is in "the best interests of the child."

Even in jurisdictions where fault remains an option, more and more divorces are uncontested. However, in cases where divorces go to trial - probably less five percent - liberalization and no-fault have not eased the acrimony and the pain and suffering of a divorce battle. Indeed, in the past forty years, law firms specializing as counsel for men or counsel for women market themselves as "fathers’ rights" and "mothers’ rights" firms. Many lawyers caution that judges throw a very cold eye on the tactics used by gender rights attorneys. Judges can spot attorneys who come to court with a gender agenda. And the court may become reflexively skeptical about the good faith of such practitioners.

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Suggested Reading
The Women's Rights Manual for Divorce The Women's Rights Manual for Divorce
What you are experiencing or contemplating is probably going to be the most difficult time of your life. Separation and divorce can break anyone emotionally and financially if you let it. Your future is in your hands. This manual gives you easy access to your rights, which will provide you the needed protection for you to have a successful divorce.

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