Divorce Negotiation Rule Ten - Be Prepared
Key Points
  • Clients should always meet with their attorney prior to going into a face-to-face negotiation meeting with his or her spouse and opposing counsel.
  • You and your attorney should always be prepared when entering settlement negotiations with opposing counsel and your spouse.
  • Bluffing your way through settlement negotiations may not serve you the best; not being prepared will lead to not even knowing what to negotiate.

Going into settlement negotiations without a prior face-to-face meeting with your client is as wrong as going into trial without such a meeting. Worse, it wastes the time and money of not only your client but the lawyer and client on the other side. Spend time with the client to discuss starting points and ending points for negotiations. Make sure the client understands that, although it is in many ways the equivalent of a knife fight, there are rules which will be followed.

If you make a habit out of not being prepared for settlement negotiations, you will earn a reputation for not being prepared. At least my reaction to lawyers with this reputation is not to prepare myself for the negotiation session. The result is that it is far less likely that the case will be settled. On the other hand, if I know that the lawyer on the other side prepares hard for settlement, I will work hard as well. The result is a good session which will make great progress towards a resolution, if not reach one.

True, there are some lawyers who bluff well. But most do not. It is usually clear early in the negotiating session the degree of preparation the other side put into preparing. In many settlement conferences, after both sides lay out their positions, there is a palpable pause as both sides hesitate to see who will make the first compromise. If it is clear that the other side is not prepared, why would we start to compromise? By not being prepared to negotiate, they are not prepared to match our compromises. The result is a standoff. The bottom line is to follow the Boy Scout motto: Be Prepared!

Following these rules does not, of course, guarantee a settlement. The rules do, however, create the type of atmosphere which makes a settlement more likely. As with many other things in life, improving the odds is often the best we can do when we do not have full control over the circumstances. And, we owe it to our clients to do the best we can.

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Separation Agreement Software
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Separation Agreement Software
It is very difficult to move on with your life without getting the facts in writing, like, who gets what property and who is responsible for what debt, so a separation agreement outlines the rules in a legally binding format. Once you have a signed separation agreement you are on the right path to successfully negotiating your divorce settlement.

Suggested Reading
Fairshare Divorce for Women Fairshare Divorce for Women
Fair Share Divorce for Women is the first book that gives women the support and guidance they need to safeguard their marital assets. Too often women find themselves at a disadvantage when their marriage ends and they have to fight for what is rightfully theirs.

Author: Kathleen Miller, CFP, MBA

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DIVORCE AND LIVING EXPENSES – The parents must consider the cost of living, including extracurricular activities and daycare and even transportation. Some state courts allow these expenses to be negotiated into the amount of child support paid.
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