Divorce Negotiation Rule Three - Do Not Give Deadlines
Key Points
  • Giving a deadline in a negotiation is in essence a threat. You do not want negotiations to go on forever, but a deadline, or else, type deal breaks down the trust and further negotiations.

On occasion, I have received settlement proposals with "sunsets" of, for example, 5:00 p.m. on a particular Friday. A sunset is really a threat, an ultimatum, which brings out the type of response discussed in Rule Two. Usually, these are not great proposals anyway or there would be no need for the sunset. After all, if the proposal was really that great, it would speak for itself and there would be no need for the accompanying threat.

Where the other side gives a "Friday at 5 p.m." deadline, try the following response:

Dear Joe:

My client was going to accept your proposal on Friday when she noticed that it was 5:10 p.m. See you in court.

The other lawyer usually then calls me and offers to extend the deadline. I then take the opportunity to explain to the other lawyer that the issue is not the particular time, it is that I do not want to be given a deadline. Try this, for example:

I promise that I won't threaten you during the settlement process, and I request that you don't threaten me.

Truth is, if the offer was that great for your client, they would not have had to resort to threats. And, if the offer was not that great, then nothing is lost by not responding. In any event, if you want the case settled, do not use deadlines any more than you would use any other type of threat or ultimatum.

Useful Online Tools
  • Negotiating Your Divorce Online - You will be surprised how easy it is to resolve your disputes through our innovative Divorce Negotiation CenterTM. It's FREE. Give it a try.

Separation Agreement Software
Download Product   
Separation Agreement Software
It is very difficult to move on with your life without getting the facts in writing, like, who gets what property and who is responsible for what debt, so a separation agreement outlines the rules in a legally binding format. Once you have a signed separation agreement you are on the right path to successfully negotiating your divorce settlement.

Suggested Reading
Fairshare Divorce for Women Fairshare Divorce for Women
Fair Share Divorce for Women is the first book that gives women the support and guidance they need to safeguard their marital assets. Too often women find themselves at a disadvantage when their marriage ends and they have to fight for what is rightfully theirs.

Author: Kathleen Miller, CFP, MBA

Related Article Archives
Client/Attorney Relationship
Collaborative Law
Property & Debt Division
Premarital Agreements
Private Investigation
    All Article Archives

Related Categories
Alimony & Spousal Support
Divorce & Pets
Divorce, Dollars & Debt
Divorce Laws
Divorce Process
Lawyer-Client Relationship
Men's & Father's Rights
Women's & Mother's Rights
    All Categories
Related Forums
DIY Divorce
Financial Aspects
Lawyer Issues
Men's Rights
Women's Rights
    All Forums

Resources & Tools

Bookstore Promotion Discount

Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.
Divorcing spouses should consider the terms and conditions of any college expenses, including out of pocket expenses. Both parents and children are better served when this is decided at the time of the initial settlement agreement, even if the children are very young.
Start Divorce

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code:


Online Divorce Negotiation

Online Divorce Negotiation

So you and your spouse have a few issues to iron out before you can agree on your divorce? You are not alone, but you do not have to spend thousands on a lawyer to reach an agreement. With just a little participation and communication, you will be surprised how easy it is to resolve your disputes through our innovative Divorce Negotiation CenterTM. It's FREE. Give it a try.


Featured Download Basic Principles of Law for Construing Separation Agreements

Basic Principles of Law for Construing Separation Agreements

Basic Principles of Law for Construing Separation Agreements

Guarantee Official PayPal Seal Facebook Twitter Versign Secure Site