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Ending a Marriage? Consider Hiring a Divorce Coach!
As a CFP professional focusing on the financial planning needs of divorcing couples, I appreciate receiving referrals from other professionals, especially when it gives me the opportunity to work with another colleague on a particular divorce case.
Such was the situation a few years ago when my friend, a local mental health professional, referred me to a couple who were just beginning the divorce process.
While getting background information on this case, my associate mentioned that while there were several reasons that contributed to the decision to move forward with the divorce, the major factor was the husband’s infidelity. Understandably the wife was extremely angry, hurt and shocked; having worked with divorcing couples for many years, I prepared myself for difficult, even hostile meetings.
Imagine my surprise when I found this couple treating each other with respect, patience and even a gentle sense of humor! For the next two hours I had a “front row seat” to an extremely productive and harmonious meeting.
Needless to say, as soon as the meeting ended I called their counsellor and joked that I must have been “Punk’d”. What other reason could there be for such a confident, fruitful meeting?
My friend’s response was quick and direct: “What is it you think we divorce coaches actually do? You weren’t there when she was screaming at him for cheating on her; you weren’t there when he arrived home to find his clothes on the front lawn; you weren’t there when her hurt and anger at his betrayal reduced her to a puddle of tears.”
My friend continued: “For the past six months I have worked with this couple, teaching them how to communicate effectively, to treat each other with respect and dignity, and to work together for the good of their children. What you see now is the result of this couple embracing the tools I gave them to interact in a polite, gracious, constructive manner.”
My colleague finished by saying: “A couple may not have a successful marriage, but proficient divorce coaching provides a framework for couples to have a successful divorce.”
Rochelle Forster and Craig A. Hyldahl, CDFA offer securities through AXA Advisors, LLC (NY, NY 212-314-4600), member FINRA, SIPC, offer investment advisory products and services through AXA Advisors, LLC, an investment advisor registered with the SEC, and offer annuity and insurance products through AXA Network, LLC. AXA Advisors and its affiliates and associates do not provide tax, accounting or legal advice or services. You should consult with your own tax and legal advisors regarding your particular circumstances. Individuals may transact business and/or respond to inquiries only in state(s) in which they are properly registered and/or licensed. R.I.C.H. Planning Group, LLC is not owned or operated by AXA Advisors or AXA Network. CFP and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER are certification marks owned by the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc. These marks are awarded to individuals who successfully complete the CFP Board’s initial and ongoing certification requirements. PPG-100665(02/15)(exp.02/17)
If the divorce is being filed under one of the seven fault grounds (including extreme cruelty, adultery, abandonment, substance or alcohol addiction, institutionalization, deviant sexual conduct and incarceration), the 18 month separation period, required for a no-fault divorce, is waived. However, each ground for divorce has its own stipulations.
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