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How Do You Know if You’re Ready for Divorce?
Perhaps one of the most difficult and life-changing questions one can ask themselves – and certainly not one that has any simple answers – is “how do you know if you’re ready for divorce?” The fact is, making the decision to get a divorce is rarely an easy one. Different situations present different circumstances and different families have different dynamics, making the decision a uniquely personal one. So, how do you know if you’re ready for divorce? Let’s consider a few things first.
When a person is considering the possibility of ending their marriage, they are typically faced with one of three scenarios:
They’re pretty sure they want to get divorced but are not completely positive it’s the right decision.
One spouse wants the divorce, but the other does not.
They feel that divorce is the only solution because the marriage simply isn’t working.
Once you determine which scenario best fits what you are feeling, you can then begin to delve a bit deeper into the actual question: how do you know if you’re ready for divorce?
People choose to divorce for any number of reasons. Whether it’s due to a change in lifestyle, stress that has infiltrated a relationship, infidelity by one or both spouses – you name it. Sometimes it seems as though ending the marriage is the only solution, other times there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.
The first step in determining if you’re really ready for divorce involves several key questions, as follows.
Obviously, there are a number of other factors that may make the answer to the question, “are you ready for divorce” much easier, such as abuse. In general, however, these questions offer a good place to start. As you go through and answer each one, take the time to really be honest with yourself. If possible, discuss these questions with your spouse to see if you are both on the same page.
A divorce coach can assist you to work through this list of questions and, while he or she cannot make the decision for you, what they can do is help you to uncover the true underlying issues at hand and face each of them in a positive, productive way. During a coaching session, you may decide that, after carefully considering and answering the important questions above, you are simply not ready to end your marriage. Or, you may come to the conclusion that divorce really is the best option for you and your spouse.
So, how do you know if you’re ready for divorce? That’s ultimately a question that only you can answer. Enlisting the help of a skilled divorce coach can help you work through the many questions, scenarios, “what if’s” and other issues that you’re dealing with to develop a clearer picture of the situation you are presently in, and to establish an action plan to help you move forward to the place that you want to be – whether that happens to be with or without your spouse.
In order for permanent alimony to be awarded in New Jersey, the marriage must have lasted at least 10 years and one spouse must have become economically dependent on the other. This type of alimony allows the obligee to maintain the lifestyle to which he or she has become accustomed for the duration of the obligor's lifetime (unless the obligee remarries).
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