Trusting the Other Parent During and After Divorce
Key Points
  • If you are getting divorced, more than likely you may feel you cannot trust your spouse or ex-spouse and this may be true; but it is important to find a way to trust your spouse during and after the divorce when you are dealing with children.
  • There are ways for you and your ex-spouse to build trust, make sure you are on time for drop off and pick up; being late will just frustrate the other parent and your children will pick up on this.
  • Always be honest, you may think your ex-spouse will use this against you, but being dishonest will hurt you more.

Trust is an important characteristic for any relationship. If you have trust, then you have the base for a good parenting relationship going forward. The trust needs to extend past the safety of your child to trusting that the other parent is trying hard to be a good parent, following your parenting plan, parenting values, morals, etc.

Often times trust does not exists between the parents, due to the marital breakdown. If this becomes your situation, do not be alarmed. Allow for the trust to recreate itself within the new parenting relationship. This is a new relationship you are building, so you should try to give the other parent an opportunity to gain your trust.

Strategies and Tactics to Establish Trust:

  • Be on time for all meetings or visitation drop-offs and pick-ups.
  • Return telephone calls promptly.
  • Give straight forward and honest answers to questions asked about your child by the other parent.
  • Cooperate (not necessarily agree) with the other parent as much as possible throughout the divorce process.
  • Compliment the other parent on his or her parenting abilities or responsibilities.

In doing the above, you hope that these actions are reciprocated by the other parent. Please remember that trust is not something that is established overnight.

Useful Online Tools

Suggested Reading
Creating a Successful Parenting Plan Creating a Successful Parenting Plan
This extraordinary book and computer disk offers separating or divorcing parents a sure-fire way to create a workable, practical parenting plan/agreement that is in the best interest of their children.

Author: Jayne A. Major, Ph.D.

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