Letting Them Know You’re Getting Divorced
Key Points
  • You are getting divorced, who do you tell and how do you tell them? Divorce is very stressful and emotions run high. Reactions of those around you who you tell you are getting a divorce may surprise you.
  • Friends and family may react with surprise, they may not have known there were issues in the marriage. Children however, are often more aware and while they may not really like the family breaking apart but they felt something was amiss.
  • Do not let embarrassment keep you from getting the support you need during your divorce. Whether you have friends or family who step up and stand by your side, make sure you have that support system in place.

Quote: Truth is the cry of all. (Author Unknown)

Telling your family your marriage isn't working and that you are getting divorced can be?:

  1. stressful
  2. emotional
  3. final
  4. life-changing
  5. all of the above, PLUS

The answer is, all of the above. PLUS. "The PLUS" is the unexpected education in human nature you will receive when family and friends react to the news.

The children's reactions may not surprise you, because often they sense the end was coming and perhaps felt some relief.

Other family members, may make you feel like the devil. The news of your separation may be treated casually, but the word "d-i-v-o-r-c-e!"may changed their outlook.

Nature of the Beast

What may matter most to your family may not be that you are getting divorced, but that the family will be embarrassed by a divorce. Sometimes, families drift apart during this time and a select group of friends take their place. Identify your adult family and find out who you can count on.

Knowing who is true to you will make the coping bearable. More likely than anyone else, the people with whom you will grow old are those with goals, morals, and beliefs like yours. This is the true lesson in human nature.

Supportive Companions

Those friends you can trust on a sinking ship are special and few. You have to identify them and stay close. You know who they are. You feel it. You sense it.

A supportive person and friend is one who looks at every situation as a potential opportunity. If he or she believes that when one door closes, another one opens, give him or her a call. If there's a person you know who is always ready to give without keeping score, you can count on him or her. If he or she is a friend through thick and thin, then you are blessed with a supportive friend. This person may be a sibling or relative, a very old friend or a newer one. You will live and smile again, and launch a thousand new dreams.

Know what challenges lie ahead. With this knowledge, you can cope. Without it, you will fear what you don't know. Your grief will be greater, and you will be easily shocked on your journey through divorce and recovery.

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ONE DAY AT A TIME -- There is no single right way to survive a divorce; there is no universal right way to start over. A person does it by doing it. Anything within reason that gets a person through the day is perfectly acceptable, but even with help such as counseling and support groups, the emotional part of divorce survival is a self-help project.

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