When you are deep in the cycle of conflict, there isn’t much interest in finding solutions that work for everyone. So if you want to be effective in resolving your issues, you need to end the cycle of conflict. Besides, a final decree is only going to be as good as your relationship. When someone is full of anger and resentment, some paper signed by a judge isn’t going to make sure the decree gets honored. You can have a decree an inch thick, but someone wants to get back at you, that person will find a way, and the decree won’t help one bit.
To end the cycle of conflict, you need to heal your hurt and let go of your resistance toward the other person. Instead of being judgmental and critical, you need to be accepting and supportive. Every time you interact with the other person, you will either create love or destroy love, and whatever you give will come right back. So make sure the other person feels loved, accepted and appreciated. To the extent you are able to end the cycle of conflict, working together becomes much easier and your life becomes much more enjoyable.
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I.R.S. RECAPTURE-- Recapture prevents a divorcing couple from dividing their property and calling the distribution alimony. Recapture applies to alimony when the alimony paid decreases by more than $15,000 annually within a three-year period after a divorce. If in a three-year period a taxpayer’s alimony decreases by more than $15,000 from the amount of the proceeding year, the I.R.S. regards the alimony payments as property distribution. It recaptures the obligor’s income retroactively. In this, the I.R.S. recovers the tax benefit of a deduction or a credit taken by a taxpayer and disallows the deduction.
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