Third Area
Key Points
  • Fighting for your position in divorce only clouds your judgment as to what the issues really are; you are letting your fear or hurt guide you. Fighting is opposition at its best, and while you may be fighting, you are losing sight of what matters.
  • Keeping your spouse from your children, because you are afraid of losing your children, may actually result in a judge granting your spouse custody.
  • Divorce is not the end of the world, perceive it as a new beginning, a new book. You will be okay, so will your spouse, and without fighting, so will your children. Do not be so rigid that you forget to be flexible in finding solutions.

The more you are able to flow with your situation, the more effective you will be. You will be able to see your situation clearly and you will be able to see what needs to be done. When you fight your situation, you create a state of fear and upset. You close down inside. You lose your ability to see clearly and you interact in a way that destroys love and almost always creates opposition and resistance against yourself.

In one case, a lady was so afraid of losing her children that she did everything she could to keep her husband from seeing them. The husband then became so angry and frustrated, that he went to court and eventually gained custody of the children. By her resisting the loss of her children, she actually created the very loss that she was avoiding. If she was more at peace with the loss of her children, her husband would never have fought for custody, and she would have her children today. Literally, the more you are unwilling for something to happen, the greater the chance that it will. So be willing. Be willing for anything to happen. Be willing to lose your kids. Be willing to lose your income, your property and your security. Let go of your demands for how life should be and be willing for life to be however it is and however it may become.

Remember that letting go is just a state of mind and has nothing to do with your actions. Letting go is the mental step the releases fear and upset so that you can see what actions you need to take. Be willing for anything to happen. Set yourself free inside. Then do whatever you need to do. To let go, there are two steps. 1st - trust that you will be fine no matter what happens and 2nd - be willing to feel all the hurt and the feelings of being not okay .. that would get reactivated if your fear were realized. Then give your fears permission to happen. A powerful way to do this is to tell the Universe, "I give you my children. I give you full permission to take them away. I want them to stay, but I let them go." Say this with each of your fears and with anything that you’ve been unwilling to lose. Say this over and over and allow yourself to feel all the hurt that gets reactivated. Once you can say this and mean it, you have set yourself free inside. And ironically, you have greatly increased the chances of keeping whatever you have been afraid to lose. The more you are willing for anything to happen, the more you retain your peace of mind and the more effective you will be. You become more flexible and more able to find solutions that work for everyone.

Useful Online Tools
  • Divorce Online - With this online software you will complete and instantly print your divorce forms and step-by-step filing procedures to file your own divorce in a timely, professional, and hassle free fashion.
  • Online Separation Agreements - When you and your spouse agree about how to resolve your issues, 3StepAgreementTM puts you in charge and gets everything in writing.
  • Divorce Negotiation Online - You will be surprised how easy it is to resolve your disputes through our innovative Divorce Negotiation CenterTM. It's FREE. Give it a try.

Suggested Reading
How to Divorce as Friends (Audio Book)
How to Divorce as Friends. As Featured On Oprah! You can divorce as friends! No matter how painful or destructive your relationship is today, you have the ability to turn your situation around. You can end the conflict and restore the love, one human being to another. Sound impossible? Well itŐs not! It can happen for you.

Author: Bill Ferguson

Related Article Archives
Court Procedures
Premarital Agreements
    All Article Archives

Related Categories
Contemplating Divorce
Divorce Laws
Divorce Myths
Divorce Process
    All Categories
Related Forums
DIY Divorce
    All Forums

Resources & Tools

Bookstore Promotion Discount

Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.
WHEN IT WORKS – Uncontested actions work well when the parties behave rationally and control their own worst impulses, including greed, revenge and selfishness. Remember, as one veteran lawyer said, "Criminal lawyers see bad people at their best, and divorce lawyers see good people at their worst."
Start Divorce

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code:


DIY Online Divorce

Divorce Online

3StepDivorceTM is an easy, affordable online divorce solution that helps you prepare all your divorce paperwork in less than one hour.


Featured Book How to Divorce as Friends (Audio Book)

How to Divorce as Friends (Audio Book)

How to Divorce as Friends (Audio Book)


Featured Download DOWNLOADTITLE



Guarantee Official PayPal Seal Facebook Twitter Versign Secure Site