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Children & Divorce: The Different Age Stages: 3/5 years (Pre-schoolers):
(Provided by: Divorce Source, Inc. Staff)
Children from three to five years are preschoolers who are exploring their environment. This cognitive development means an increase in their vocabulary, and their level of thinking becomes more complex. They believe that they are in total control of their environment, which can pose a problem for parents who want a divorce. The child may feel as though they are responsible for the divorce and if this is the case, they feel powerless about the outcome.How To Handle It
Preschoolers do not understand the dimensions and ramifications of divorce, and they do not want to see their parents separate. No matter how extreme the tension is in the home, the child often feels responsible for the separation. At this age, parents must handle the divorce in an open and frank manner. If the child sees that the parent adjust to the divorce, then the children will most likely adjust to it positively. It's important that the parent reassure with physical and verbal affection. Children may feel very lonely and need someone to talk to.Possible Reactions:A child of this age is old enough to have uncertain feelings about the future and a sense of generalized responsibility. He or she may keep anger trapped inside and be subject to bad dreams and unpleasant thoughts or ideas. A child may worry about his safety.
Parents should set up a specific time each day to be with the children for activities like reading together. A parent can do good by encouraging the child to talk openly. Even if the child balks, the parent should ensure visitation with estranged spouse and encourage visitation if it is needed.
Uncertain feelings about the futureRemedy Ideas for Parents:
Feeling a sense of responsibility
Keeping anger trapped inside
Nightmares may start
Unpleasant thoughts or ideas
Read books to your childGo to: Different Age Stages Informational Section
Set-up specific time for them each day
Encourage your child to talk
Ensure his or her safety
Ensure visitation with estranged spouse
Encourage visitation if it is needed
Go to: Children & Divorce Informational Section
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