Visitation Interference/Paramour Issues

Posted by: kathy

Visitation Interference/Paramour Issues - 06/01/04 02:56 PM

Hi, I'm new and have a couple of questions to bounce off of the group at large.

My BF is in the beginning/middle stages of divorce from his wife. She carried on an affair with a neighbor in the presence of their respective kids (kids were browbeaten and threatened to keep quiet about it) for at least 2 years; he found out last fall. He stayed to try to work it out for another 2 months, then she had him removed from the marital home with an Order of Protection on the grounds of tension in the home. This is in Illinois.

I started seeing him in March, at which time I read through all of his paperwork and informed him he is being screwed in a big way. There are no orders regarding the divorce in place except the OoP, not even a legal separation. He is paying all of the bills on the marital home where Wife still lives with the 2 kids (8 and 5). Dad's visitation is set out in the OoP (he has the kids M-F from after school to 8pm and every other weekend from Friday after school to Sunday at 6pm, she works afternoons/evenings).

BF did get an injunction in place barring Wife from consorting with her boyfriend in the presence of the kids (BF is barred from same under the injunction as well and has followed the order to the letter). Wife has been consorting with her boyfriend in the presence of the kids for some time in violation of the order. BF filed a petition for contempt last week wrapping up several incidents of this and that petition has not yet been heard. He is filing another this week for several more incidents which occurred last week. Is there anything he should be doing besides this? His attorney does not seem to think that what she has done is sufficient for a custody change or order. There is no actual custody order in place, temporary or otherwise, the OoP simply says that Wife holds 'physical possession' of the kids and lays out the dates/times of dad's visitation. Anything else he should be doing besides documenting and filing contempt orders? They are also in the midst of a custody eval and the evaluator is very proactive about wanting copies of the contempt petitions, etc. We feel the eval is leaning at this point toward recommending custody with dad in the marital home (wife is not interested in keeping marital home and was planning to move the kids out of state to be near her family).

Second question is regarding visitation, specifically telephone. Wife will not provide dad with her cell phone number so he can contact the children, and she will not answer nor allow the children answer the phone he maintains for them at the marital home. One contempt petition was filed last week regarding this (still pending), and he plans to file another this week. Is there anything else or more effective he should be doing about this?

Dad's attorney is waiting for the custody eval report prior to responding to Wife's really ridiculous first pass at the actual decree language. Wife is also broke and can no longer pay her lawyer. Is there anything else dad should be doing other than documenting and filing contempt petitions pending the custody eval report? He is (justifiably) concerned that Wife will simply leave the state (to Indiana) with the kids when school is over. If that happens, how hard is it to get the kids back into Illinois if Wife simply does not come back into the state?

Thanks for any ideas you have, we just want to keep the kids safe and in their normal family environment.

Posted by: Eric

Re: Visitation Interference/Paramour Issues - 06/01/04 05:41 PM

He needs to follow everything in the Advice folder of the Documents pages of the FIRM site (see below). He needs to read the FAQ's, Quick Facts and then the rest of the site.

He needs to file to get access to the children.

Good luck,

Posted by: kathy

Re: Visitation Interference/Paramour Issues - 06/01/04 06:58 PM

Thanks man, that is a TON of information! I appreciate the help.