LOL! Here is the reply I got

Posted by: M5M5

LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/27/07 05:41 PM

from the email I sent my ex:

Hey- It's Stefanie. Jamie's working.

I spoke to him and he told me to let you know that if you want to get some prices from an attorney, we'll look into paying for it. If we do that though, we really need to see about working something out to where the money he pays for the adoption will be deducted from what he owes in child support.

As for the attorney just saying that because he wants our money, I doubt that is the case, as he refferred us to another attorney- not even the same practice- to get it done. Even if it were possible, it would be better for everyone to use an attorney as that way everyone's rights will be protected.

Just let us know ASAP about some prices and we will see what we can work out. Thanks.

Stefanie

-----

Wow..is that even legal?
Posted by: NancyD

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/27/07 06:02 PM

What?!! He wants you to let him deduct the money he spends to get out of paying more child support from the amount he already owes?

That's like a thief asking if he can deduct his defense expenses before he makes restitution ordered by the court!
Posted by: M5M5

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/27/07 06:03 PM

Yeah I know..and I don't think it's even legal!

I'm dealing with retards.
Posted by: Gecko

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/27/07 08:13 PM

Yeah I know..and I don't think it's even legal!

---> Why wouldn't it be?
Posted by: M5M5

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/27/07 10:25 PM

I just heard somewhere...and I think it was here lol..that stuff like that isn't legal. Why would I agree to it even if it wasn't? I guess we will see lol. They are wanting this really badly.
Posted by: Gecko

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/28/07 01:17 AM

Outrageous maybe given that he hasn't paid child support in a long time, but certainly NOT "illegal".

It's up to YOU whether or not you would like to "credit" his arrearages for the cost of doing the adoption and frankly...since you said the reason why you had put it off was because ya'll couldn't afford it...here's your chance.

And I would only "credit" HALF of the cost...NOT the full amount.
Posted by: steppedonmom

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/28/07 03:05 AM

I wouldn't credit anything, to be perfectly honest. It's the least HE could do....grrr.
Posted by: M5M5

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/28/07 12:40 PM

I def. wouldn't credit the full amount. I really don't want to credit any of it because THEY are the ones pushing it. He is the one that contacted me for this after all. The quote I got from an attorney last year...was $800 plus a filing fee of between $175-300. So...about 1K total..give or take.

Now, DH does want to adopt my son...but my ex and his wife are the ones pushing it ..and big time now.
Posted by: Gecko

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/28/07 01:35 PM

So take the opportunity being granted...let them pay everything up front...give them 50% 'cuz who knows when you'll have this opportunity again and the boy DESERVES a good FATHER!
Posted by: momx3

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/28/07 10:06 PM

In TN you cannot forgive child support even if an adoption takes place. CSE, or private attorney, can still pursue it up til the adoption was finalized. They do that so that folks won't offer their children up for adoption just to avoid paying the CS.

In a case like this, they are supposed (and that being the key word) to make the child support current before the adoption can be finalized...but adoptions go through everyday without that stipulation in place. For example, the two children my DH adopted from second marriage. lol
Posted by: momx3

BTW - 02/28/07 10:08 PM

M5, did you get the answer to that stupid Motion I sent you yesterday? Let me know if it works for ya...or if I don't need to be "snippy" in it. lol
Posted by: Avaya

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/28/07 11:12 PM

You know, that brings about something interesting. M5 could tell the ex that they'll deduct the adoption fees from the CS ***IF*** he will pay her the whole CS owed in full, so that it clears it out of the system. THEN, once the adoption is final, they will reimburse him the cost of the adoption. Or better yet, why can't he just pay the CS, THEN M5 will pay for the adoption? Well, I know he 'can', as in that's allowable, he just doesn't have the money. He wont save anything going his route because it's going to cost the same either way.
Posted by: M5M5

Re: BTW - 02/28/07 11:39 PM

No I didn't get the Motion at all...I was wondering why I hadn't heard from you in a few days lol.
Posted by: M5M5

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/28/07 11:40 PM

Well...the arrearages are over 8K now lol...I doubt that he has that kind of money just laying around.
Posted by: Gecko

Re: LOL! Here is the reply I got - 02/28/07 11:48 PM

In TN you cannot forgive child support even if an adoption takes place.

---> I believe you are confused. Adoption (change of custody, death of a child) will NOT wipe out arrearages that are due and payable and as such, they can still be pursued as you noted. However...EVERYONE/ANYONE has the legal right to forgive a debt that is owed to them; doesn't matter if it's a loan through friends, a loan through a bank (except that you have to pay income tax) or arrearages.
Posted by: almostheaven

There's the catch... - 03/01/07 12:59 AM

>>>>>EVERYONE/ANYONE has the legal right to forgive a debt that is owed to them

Many courts say CS is owed to the child, and as such, a parent has no rights to waive it.
Posted by: Gecko

Re: There's the catch... - 03/01/07 03:43 AM

Not talking about waiving child support...talking about forgiving/crediting arrearages.
Posted by: katiefedup

Re: There's the catch... - 03/01/07 04:25 AM

in California I can not forgive arrears, I can forgive the intrest only. When D turns 18, I can continue to be a party to the action or I can "Gift" the action to my D and she can forgive it if she wishes. Of coarse, I am not so generous!
Posted by: almostheaven

Same thing... - 03/02/07 01:29 AM

It's been tried and judges have sometimes denied it.
Posted by: tsl

Re: Since we just finalized an adoption... - 03/02/07 02:32 PM

in Indiana here is our state's laws...

Adoption will not clear out arrears. You can't really go in to an adoption agreement/consent with any mentioning of support (D's bf tried it and wasn't acceptable)...it is like someone buying a child or something as such.

HOWEVER, you can have an agreement to go to the clerk and write a receipt that he "paid" X amount of dollars on such date for arrears. You can even write he paid it all off.

Personally, I would let the arrears hang. I would let him know I will not come after them if he stays away to get child change to adjust and suceed in life. IF he comes around her/you guys you will go after the arrears. (Courts don't automatically go after what is on arrears after the adoption, you have to file something to get it.)

In my "mind" today (lol) I would agree to do that and say "you pay the attorney first" let him pay the attorney, let the check cleared and then when he asks about deducting the amount from arrears say "it's in the mail"...lol
Posted by: M5M5

Re: Since we just finalized an adoption... - 03/02/07 04:12 PM

Oh he hasn't been around in a few years...he won't start now even if the adoption doesn't go thru..no matter what he says. I scared him off of it because I said if he takes me back to court...his CS will go up to $785 per month instead of the $300 he is supposed to be paying. And when he did see our son..it was only for a few months. A few months out of almost 10 years...sad.
Posted by: Gecko

Re: Same thing... - 03/02/07 07:34 PM

Sorry, but it is NOT the "same thing".
Posted by: almostheaven

Re: Same thing... - 03/02/07 11:32 PM

If you're stuck on semantics, that's your hangup, but it IS the same, treated the same by many judges. They have many times told CPs that they do not have the right to waive claim to the child's money/support, whether current or arrears.