Hard Time Letting Go

Posted by: phoenix1101

Hard Time Letting Go - 10/06/17 03:04 PM

Hi all,
I'm new to the forum. My husband of 14 years and I just filed for divorce two months ago. It was amicable, and he is extremely supportive of me, which is great. We have two small children together, and our peaceable dissolution has made this much easier for them to cope with all of the changes.

I just moved out of the house we shared two weeks ago to a new apartment. Yesterday, he informed me that he's started seeing someone else. I'm really shocked and hurt by this news. I discovered that I still have feelings for him, and a part of me was hopeful that, despite the obvious ending of our relationship, that we are still or eventually would be getting back together. Can we all say "denial"?

I thought I would come post my feelings on the forum, because when I try to talk to family and friends I get a pity show, or worse, they start hating on my ex. He's a great guy, we just didn't work out! And I would rather view life through the lens of love rather than hate or resentment. But this is hard to think another woman is in his life, in "my" house, with my kids.

Any advice on how to accept and be grateful that he's moving on, and actually move on myself?
Posted by: Mr Optimistic

Re: Hard Time Letting Go - 12/29/17 11:51 PM

New here and going through the same. I would suggest finding something to occupy your time. It is normal to feel this way but you will find over time the hurt lessens. Dwelling on it will put you in a deep dark pit (trust me on this one). Keep in mind you have far more to look forward to than what you have left behind. Hope this helps!
Posted by: ashley1976

Re: Hard Time Letting Go - 04/03/18 06:32 AM

The exact same thing happened to me... my ex husband had a new girlfriend about 3 weeks after I moved out but I suspect it was going on while we were trying to reconcile.

Do you really still have feelings for him or is it that seeing him with someone else is hitting home how real the divorce is? Divorce is a challenge for about 2 years after the breakup I'm sorry to say. I've been separated 4 years and even now I still have hard days. My ex and I are extremely amicable and I even get along with his girlfriend. Doesn't stop the 'what if's' and memories from plaguing me. But it does get easier with time and with a lot of self reflection. My advice to people is always work on your self love... don't worry about what the ex is doing, work on YOU! That is the quickest way to heal.

Hope you are getting through each day... remember one step at a time.