Mother wants to move WITHOUT kids

Posted by: RiverTam

Mother wants to move WITHOUT kids - 03/12/07 07:39 PM

You would not believe how hard it is to find resources about this!! Everything I find is about moving WITH the kids, preventing an ex from moving away WITH the kids...

My fiancee and his ex currently have a 50/50 legal custody and physical custody arrangement for their two children. She is talking about moving to Europe and NOT taking the kids with her. Frankly, we don't care if she goes, but we need to know how to handle it properly.

If she does NOT notify us of the move (by certified mail, 60 days before, per the divorce paperwork) what kind of a position does this put her in? She's not denying their father visitation, but she's certainly not holding up her end of the parenting agreement. She's told us some things verbally (and some other things that her soon to be ex told us as well) but nothing has been notified to us in writing.

If she moves and does not notify us properly, can my fiancee request sole custody? What are his chances of getting it?

If she moves and does notify us, what can we do to prove it would be a bad idea for the kids to visit her over the summer? Or, what kind of provisions can we place on summer visitations? Can it be required that she pay for them to fly over to Europe? Can it be required that someone accompany them on the trip? How do we assure that they're living in a decent environment and not sleeping on a couch for two to three months a year?

She is pregnant by a guy she met on the internet, and went to meet over New Years. She's told us she's going back to Europe in June. The kids haven't taked about a new baby brother or sister, and if she'd told them she was pregnant they would talk about it. If she's not planning on telling the kids, she could very well try to pull the wool over their eyes by dissapearing in June (she wouldn't be able to hide it for much longer at that point, if at all). All it would take is just for her not to get on that return flight. I know I could very well be wrong, but we just want to know when we will have grounds to start working to remove her from the picture.
Posted by: googledad

Re: Mother wants to move WITHOUT kids - 03/12/07 09:30 PM

[quote] I know I could very well be wrong, but we just want to know when we will have grounds to start working to remove her from the picture. [/quote]

I was going to reply to your post till I read that .
Posted by: RiverTam

Re: Mother wants to move WITHOUT kids - 03/13/07 01:47 PM

Do you think it's appropriate to encourage a seven year old to have an online boyfriend who's 11 and is the younger brother of your baby daddy?

Would you want someone in a child's live who sends the message of "Marriage is forever, except that forever means just over a year, and then you run out and marry someone else "forever"?"

Do you think that a parent who screams at teachers over triffles and then teaches her child that they don't have to listen to a rule if they don't like it is a good parent?

Do you think a responsible parent is one that doesn't tell the father of her children that she's getting remarried, until she shows up at his door to pick up the kids wearing her wedding dress? She clearly didn't tell the kids either, because they didn't talk about the wedding AT ALL. Not even a hint of it. It's a huge change that affects the children, and she doesn't even tell them or their other parent?

What about a parent that simply doesn't understand that her children are beyond the simple caregiving stage, and they need rules and boundries? Let alone anything to help them develop themselves, like teaching them things and providing activities for them?

If you don't agree with me, fine. But getting this woman out of the picture will be the lesser of two evils.
Posted by: googledad

Re: Mother wants to move WITHOUT kids - 03/13/07 09:49 PM

I'll post this in the Child Custody section and sit back and enjoy the responses you get .
Posted by: RiverTam

Re: Mother wants to move WITHOUT kids - 03/14/07 02:50 PM

Yeah, I'll get right on that one.

We'll just stick with the "Give her enough rope to hang herself" technique and hope she moves without following the divorce decree then.
Posted by: Maury

Re: Mother wants to move WITHOUT kids - 04/03/07 01:49 PM

Under Wisconsin Statutes, when a parent seeks to relocate out of the state with a minor child or within the state of Wisconsin at a distance greater than 149 miles from the non-moving parent that parent must first provide NOTICE TO OTHER PARENT. If the existing court order grants periods of physical placement to more than one parent, it shall order a parent with legal custody of and physical placement rights to a child to provide not less than 60 days written notice to the other parent, with a copy to the court, of his or her intent to establish his or her legal residence with the child at any location outside the state.


The other parent then must file an OBJECTION to the relocation within 15 days after receiving the notice of the move. The OBJECTION should be served on the other parent and filed with the court.


If the relocation is contested, the Court is bound by certain STANDARDS by which it must decide whether to allow the relocation. There are different standards depending on the facts of the case.

One Parent Has Child Greater Period of Time. If the parent proposing the move or removal has sole legal or joint legal custody of the child and the child resides with that parent for the greater period of time, the parent objecting to the move or removal may file a petition, motion or order to show cause for modification of the legal custody or physical placement order affecting the child. The court may modify the legal custody or physical placement order if the court finds all of the following:
The modification is in the best interest of the child.
The move or removal will result in a substantial change of circumstances since the entry of the last order affecting legal custody or the last order substantially affecting physical placement.

There is a rebuttable presumption that continuing the current allocation of decision making under an existing legal custody order or continuing the child's physical placement with the parent with whom the child resides for the greater period of time is in the best interest of the child. This presumption may be overcome only by a showing that the move or removal is unreasonable and not in the best interest of the child. A change in the economic circumstances or marital status of either party alone is not sufficient to meet the standards for modification. Remember, under the statute, the burden of proof is on the parent objecting to the move or removal.


(a) Whether the purpose of the proposed action is reasonable.

(b) The nature and extent of the child's relationship with the other parent and the disruption to that relationship which the proposed action may cause.

(c) The availability of alternative arrangements to foster and continue the child's relationship with and access to the other parent.

Parent's Share Time Equally. However, if the parents have joint legal custody and have substantially equal periods of physical placement, the matter is litigated under Wis. Stats. 767.327(3)(b), Stats. In such an instance, the parent planning the move does not have the benefit of that presumption against modification. The Court often appoints a custody evaluator and/or a Guardian Ad Litem to help determine what is, in fact, in the best interests of the child. The analysis may look into how much planning has gone into the relocation, the nature of the schools that the child will attend and or the stability of the proposed housing in the new state contrasting those facts with the current situation or the situation that is presented by a change in physical placement.

Any request to relocate should be supported by documentation demonstrating that you have though the matter through and that the relocation is in the child's best interest. To prepare, you may wish to include the following:

NEIGHBORHOOD & SCHOOL. Know where you will be living and describe the benefits of the neighborhood and the schools the child will attend (photos are helpful);

DAYCARE. Research any daycare facilities that you intend to use and include as part of your motion a brochure or contract from the provider;

EMPLOYMENT. If you are moving to improve yourself financially, include information regarding your new job or your planned education including any employment contracts or offers, benefit information or brochures.

HEALTH. If there are any health considerations regarding the move, include those as part of your motion. For example, if you are moving to a warmer climate that benefits asthma (yours or the child's) include that in your motion.

If the Court allows the relocation, it often requires the party moving to pay more of the transportation costs related to visitation.

There is no "standard" visitation schedule when the visitation must occur at a distance. Often, however, the courts grant the non-custodial parent extended access times for fall breaks, spring breaks, Christmas breaks and summer months.
Posted by: wildflower1218

Re: Mother wants to move WITHOUT kids - 12/10/10 12:30 AM

Does the father currently pay the mother child support? That is the only thing I can think of that would be affected if the mother wants to move to Europe without the kids. I would suppose that when she goes, then the father should file a petition for sole custody. The mother would have to respond and appear, which she may likely not do if she is in Europe. To do anything before that happens would be useless. If she wants to leave without her kid, let her.