I'm 52, make ~160,000/year and plan to work forever; spouse is 56, makes ~120,000/year and plans to retire in 4 years. Both work for major multi-national companies with good pensions. We have been married for all of the ~23 years we've worked. Are these pensions worth about the same amount right now? Mine will be more money/mo but will probably come much later, but you never know. If they are close in value right now, we'd be happy to avoid the expense and mess of pension calculations and just say "you keep yours, I'll keep mine".
aaj
DE is a state with very sane divorce laws. Get divorced here if you can.