First time I'm doing this so bear with me as I don't know the various acronyms.
My fiance is a divorced mom with two kids (ages 11 and 13). She has joint legal custody with her ex living only minutes from each other. They live in the same town about 2 hours from where I live. I am a divorced dad with two kids (ages 10 and 16) and also have joint legal custody with my ex living only minutes from my ex. We each have our children 50% of the week and we cherish that time.
My relationship with my ex is easy and friendly. My fiance's is rife with daily difficulty and "drama".
My fiance is and has been the sole bread winner for the length of her relationship with her ex (her ex chooses not to work) and she pays alimony and support.
We see each other as often as we can (usu one day during the week one of us will drive to the other after work and drive back in the morning, on the weekends when neither of us has our kids and occasionally with the kids). But we would really like to live together and are hard pressed to figure out how to do it. She would like to find a job in my town but she needs to be in her town on her parenting days. (I live in a much bigger city, one to which she has often wanted to move, and she has greater opportunites here than I would have if I were to move.) We have considered the possibility of her finding a job here, taking a smaller, less expensive place where she currently lives and commuting from there on days she has her kids. This might work on a very short-term basis but would wear on her very quickly.
I would consider doing the same (relocating to her town and commuting back) but we run into the same issues.
I'm hoping someone has some creative ideas about how to make this work.