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#150911 - 10/04/06 07:55 PM Your so FOS your eyes are brown... [Re: Susanf31]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31800
"You are correct. I should have addressed this issue when I agreed to give up SS. However, I DIDN'T KNOW!! I just got out my decree last night and I couldn't believe my eyes!"

WHO do you think you are kidding? I bet you have the decree printed on business cards so you can carry them in your wallet.

I doubt that you will find a SINGLE person on here who will believe there was a single LINE in your decree about getting money from your ex that you have not committed to MEMORY!
_________________________
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

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#150912 - 10/04/06 08:00 PM Re: I feel bad for her ex... [Re: Runswithscissors]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
He does pay Susan.. He paid SS, he paid CS and he is constantly being hit for more $$ for this/that....

I tell ya this... forgo the activities that he is NOT ordered to pay.. and then ask him about this new "law". How about that? Will that work? OR do you want him to pay you CS, 1/2 of activities AND the new law?
+++++++

Yes, I want him to pay CS which is based on LESS than he actually earns, 1/2 of agreed-upon activities and follow the law as far as how medical expenses are split.

Keep in mind, our combined income now exceeds the upper limits of our state's guidelines. In cases like ours, judges set CS at their discression, but it CANNOT be lower than the highest amount of CS awarded per the guidelines.

If we went to court, I'm very certain his CS woudl be significantly higher.

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#150913 - 10/04/06 08:02 PM Re: I feel bad for her ex... [Re: Marie_ss]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
If he wants to contribute more to the kids, let him do it but not by court order. You've always made him out to be a great father and financial contributor without asking, so why not give him the benefit of the doubt?
++++++

I might just do that. I might not say a word for a few months and then ask him to split the braces in ratio to income. If he agrees, then great. Problem solved. If he doesn't, I'm going to suggest mediation.

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#150914 - 10/04/06 08:10 PM Re: What should I do? Maury [Re: Susanf31]
Stirling Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 327
"I don't think I would pursue this any further than mediation."

Susan, there is nothing to mediate since your divorce agreement is very clear on how medical expenses are to be divided. You and your Ex in good faith entered into your divorce agreement based on the "guidelines" at the time of your divorce which did not provide for pro-rata sharing of medical expenses. The agreement that you signed in good faith should supercede any changes that have been made to the guidelines.

Also, if you intend to mediate in good faith, what do younintend to bargan with? There needs to be something in it for your Ex in order to get him to the table.

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#150915 - 10/04/06 08:16 PM Re: I feel bad for her ex... [Re: Susanf31]
Cassie23 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/07/05
Posts: 14784
I think that's the best way to handle it if you want to keep a good relationship with him- which you have done thus far.

**But I will say with your ex having a new woman in his life- it will be certain that she will have some say in what he decides to do... It just happens that way. Kind of like you asking some of those questions of behalf of your fiancee~

Like I said my DH's ex did the same thing you are looking to do and she won, hands down, because it was according to state guidelines. Seems as though it is difficult to get divorce decrees changed, however where the state guidelines weren't truly followed- I guess its easier than some would think.

But then again, maybe it depends on the judge (their judge was a royal b!tch- and is known to favor women)- we have seen some crazy rulings. You may get in there (if mediation doesn't work) and the judge may say tough sh!t you agreed to the 50/50.

My DH's income is over the state guidelines too and ex agreed to stop it there SINCE her lawyer suggested that her chances of getting the right percentage for anything past $80k would be difficult. Sometimes there is fairness in the world- now if that woman who actually get a real job and make some money to support her kid(s), the world would be a better place!!!

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#150916 - 10/04/06 08:22 PM Re: What should I do? Maury [Re: Stirling]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
Susan, there is nothing to mediate since your divorce agreement is very clear on how medical expenses are to be divided. You and your Ex in good faith entered into your divorce agreement based on the "guidelines" at the time of your divorce which did not provide for pro-rata sharing of medical expenses. The agreement that you signed in good faith should supercede any changes that have been made to the guidelines.
+++++++

It would it be following the dispute resolution rules that are in our CO. Before we can return to court for any modification, we must first mediate.

Also, I'm not sure what you mean when you say that there has to be something in it for the ex to get him to the table.

There doesn't have to be something "in it" for the other party to return to court to seek modification.

It's just that our CO says we must first try mediation prior to returning to court for any matter.

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#150917 - 10/04/06 08:44 PM Re: What should I do? Maury [Re: Susanf31]
nrvouswrk Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
Susan, do you ever worry that maybe your ex might reach a point where he has had enough, and decides to take YOU to court? Did I understand correctly that he is now engaged? His new wife might put her foot down on all the money you try and get from him.

I do hava a couple of questions...how old are your girls, and up until what age does you ex have to pay support on them? Was he also ordered to pay part of their college costs?

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#150918 - 10/04/06 08:51 PM Re: What should I do? Maury [Re: nrvouswrk]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
What would he take me to court for? CS is figured on 100% of my income and on less than 100% of his income. He doesn't want custody.

So, where is "all of this money I try to get from him." He's paying per guidelines.

My girls are 15 and 12. In Colorado they pay until the kids are 19. We agreed to split college expenses 50/50 after the Pre-paid tuition program that MY PARENTS paid for picks up their tuition.

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#150919 - 10/04/06 08:54 PM Re: What should I do? Maury [Re: Susanf31]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
Maybe he would like to quit paying for anything after Age 19. After all, if you can get things changed, he shold be able to also. He should only have to do "guidelines" too.

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#150920 - 10/04/06 09:09 PM Re: What should I do? Maury [Re: Buckeye]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
Yes, but the guidelines address College expenses. It basically says that if the parties agreed to them in the CO, then that's the way it is. It also says that a person can't be ordered to pay for college expenses AND child support...one or the other.

That is not in direct conflict like it is with what my CO and the guidelines say about med. expenses.

However, you are correct. It would certainly be his or my perrogative to go back and try to get the college part thrown out.

However, I would be the one more than likely to do it. If he's making 4 times what I make, splitting college 50/50 would certainly be much harder on me than on him.


Edited by Susanf31 (10/04/06 09:13 PM)

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