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#150991 - 10/06/06 02:19 AM Re: And you act like... [Re: jsp]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Because CS does NOT cover all expenses. CS is for BASICS. SOME children have more needs than BASICS. THAT is why the courts allow for daycare and medical and insurance as EXTRAS. And THOSE are based on income JUST the same as CS is. And if one parent didn't sometimes EXPECT the other parent to run right out and earn the same thing they do the moment they found a hot younger thing to satisfy them, knowing the other parent had been an SAHP for many many years and could NOT earn even NEAR what they did, then they wouldn't have to argue so vehemently for paying as little as they could towards their children...towards their decisions too.
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Char Fox

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#150992 - 10/06/06 02:20 AM Re: And you act like... [Re: AnneB]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
I think she knows that and it's getting to the point that she's purposely ignoring it.
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Char Fox

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#150993 - 10/06/06 02:22 AM Re: And you act like... [Re: AnneB]
jsp Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 4197
In your situaiton to get extra help is reasonable but within reason depends on your ex's income and how much he pays in child support. But, in situations where the child goes a few times a year, to share in those costs is silly as child support should cover reasonable medical care. But, if the state takes a flat % from the NCP, then that needs to be considered. If a parent is paying 1/2 their pay check to child support and the child's needs in their home, and you sock them with another few hundered a month, how do they eat and pay their basic bills? I understand you don't want to make the CP broke, but at some point their has to be a balance and basic medical care should be included as part of the child support assuming the child goes to the doctor a few times a year and may or may not need glasses or braces.

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#150994 - 10/06/06 02:23 AM Re: Almostheaven [Re: jsp]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
If you can't parent your kids and have to hand them off to your spouse to do it, then you can't parent...period. And maybe one should think about that before having SAHPs, or having the spouse do the lion's share of child rearing, or before divorcing.

And hon, foster care pays way more than a mere check. I don't think you really wanna go there. Unless you want your husband to start providing his kids with clothing vouchers, free lunches, medical cards, etc. etc.
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Char Fox

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#150995 - 10/06/06 02:26 AM Re: And you act like... [Re: jsp]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
If CS and medical are set as a percentage of income, the same formula is used to set the percent for BOTH the CP and NCP. So if they can't pay their basic bills, they may have a child simply too sick that they need some help with the situation...and possibly couldn't have handled it if they'd stayed together. And in THIS situation, we're talking a 6 figure earner. Do you really think they can't pay basic bills because they pay 65% instead of 50% towards medical?
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Char Fox

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#150996 - 10/06/06 02:26 AM Re: And you act like... [Re: almostheaven]
jsp Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 4197
So tell me then why isn't my husband ordered to pay extra's that you demand? He is required to pay 1/2 medical, but with tricare there are no copays, so if mom chooses not to use his court ordered insurance, she has to pay full costs. The only thing ordered is 1/2 braces, but she doesn't want to pay her share, so no braces (we were willing ot pay cash up front). No child care was ordered either!

Child support and a parent cheating on each other have nothing to do with each other! And, if a CP had common sense, they know throughout a marriage not to rely on another person to financially provide for their child - if they get the help, great, if not, do what you need to do and support your child.

So, in come cases depending on the state, it is ordered, but in others, many I know of, it is a flat rate and that is it in less the NCP chooses to do more.

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#150997 - 10/06/06 02:32 AM Re: Almostheaven [Re: almostheaven]
jsp Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 4197
Humm... hello, I know my husband offers free medical care, basic dental is covered fully by mom's insurance and the clothing allowances here are about $100 a year... not much of everything. And, at one point in one year, we provided about 25-30 teeshirts, 4-6 sweatshirts, 10-12 pair of jeans, 3 pairs of sneakers and a lot of other crap.. that is way more than any clothing allowance would provide. Maybe your foster kids get much more, but ours don't. But, I guess I wouldn't know anything about that given I was a foster care worker for about 7 years post masters (3 years with internships at 24 hours per week). The only thing our foster kids got were decent X-mas/holiday gifts and that depended on if they had a social worker who could be bothered to take the time to put in lists, pick up and drop off the gifts.

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#150998 - 10/06/06 02:38 AM Re: Almostheaven [Re: jsp]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Good for you. Trying doing foster care in other states. Or are you assuming that EVERYONE should live like you and that ALL states are exactly alike?
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Char Fox

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#150999 - 10/06/06 02:40 AM Yayyyyyy, she finally gets it... [Re: jsp]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Because "in some cases" and "depending on the state". And Susan's state says as a "percentage of income". And you're STILL vehemently arguing that it shouldn't apply to someone else because you don't think it should apply in YOUR case. Why? Again I ask. Because it's Susan?
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Char Fox

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#151000 - 10/06/06 02:40 AM Re: Almostheaven [Re: almostheaven]
jsp Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 4197
I've done it in three states and D.C. All states have basic standards to be compliant with the feds who provide a good chunk of money to the states in block grants. If you are not in compliance you don't get the money.

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