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#151021 - 10/06/06 02:49 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Avaya]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
you and your ex seem to have a wonderful relationship regarding the children.

Why would you think that he would try to stiff you on medical bills or anything else now?

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#151022 - 10/06/06 03:04 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Buckeye]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
He wouldn't stiff me on them. I just doubt he'd agree to the "in ratio to income" unless it was in the CO. In fact, I'm not even going to ask him unless the bills become significant.

Now that he has a new woman and her child to support, I sense that he'll be willing to do what he's done in the past, but will be resisting doing anything additional that he doesn't have to per the CO.

Just a hunch I'm having...which is fine. I don't plan on asking him for anything until something like prom or some other really extraordinally expensive comes up.

He's REALLY into 50/50...always has been and that was fine when our incomes were roughly equal.

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#151023 - 10/06/06 03:09 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Susanf31]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
no use stirring the pot until something happens. And, depending on the circumstances, it might be well not to stir the pot even then.

I know this hard for you to understand - never having been in this situation before. You will now be dealing with your fiance's ex and now maybe even a SM for your children. Just take your time and get used to everything because things are going to be a lot different from now on.

And, before you do ANYTHING, come in here and let us all "have at it". Then, you will have a better idea of what may be coming down the road toward you. Sometimes getting a little bit more money isn't worth the ill well that is created.

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#151024 - 10/06/06 03:32 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Susanf31]
Avaya Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 9850
Loc: Arkansas
[quote]

He's REALLY into 50/50...always has been and that was fine when our incomes were roughly equal. [/quote]

Your incomes were only 'roughly equal' because he was giving you $$ to MAKE yours equal to his. Get that through your head. You should be proud of every penny he has ever given you and you should be ashamed to ever ask for a dime more. Your incomes were NEVER equal - only manipulated to make it look equal - he was still the one EARNING the income.
_________________________
Eternity is too long to be wrong.

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#151025 - 10/06/06 04:08 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Avaya]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
Yep, and I was the one doing 90% of the parenting and raising of the children. My hours "working" for him, doing his share of the parenting, so he could be out making those big dollars, made it a very equitable situation.

Now, I'm doing 90% of the parenting, still raising his kids, freeing him up to make huge money, and for that I get child support that covers about half of the kid's expenses. He has to pay nothing extra for basically dumping his responsibilites on me, even when doing that enables him to make far more money than if he took his fair share of the parenting.

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#151026 - 10/06/06 04:24 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Susanf31]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
Well, the answer to this is to make him the CP and you the NCP and then you will have time to make all the big bucks!

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#151027 - 10/06/06 05:54 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Susanf31]
Marie_ss Offline
member

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 100
"My hours "working" for him, doing his share of the parenting, so he could be out making those big dollars, made it a very equitable situation."

Just curious, but isn't your husband an engineer or some kind of highly paid techie? Are you saying that if you were given that same opportunity, you would be making as much, if not more, than he? Understand that not all people have the same aptitude for techie work, so are you saying that you have the similar qualities?

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#151028 - 10/06/06 06:51 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Marie_ss]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
No, I'm not qualified to make more than him. But if I had been free to accept jobs that involve a lot of OT and travel, I'd be making much more than I am now.

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#151029 - 10/06/06 07:31 PM Re: Susan... [Re: Susanf31]
LeAnne Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 10232
Loc: missouri
And what makes you think he has to support this handicapped child? Do you know for a fact, that Bm does not recieve CS? Do you know for a fact that she does not collect a disability check or medicaid for her D? Do you know for a fact that the BD does not have her covered on his insurance? I guess they lived in a cardboard box before she hooked up with your EX? I guess her address before she met your H, #3, cardboard box, under the overpass, next to the sewage treatment plant. I don't think you give this woman much credit? She is a very strong lady, mentally and physically, quit giving her the title of a GOLD DIGGING [censored]! Seems she has a job! No? Her D is very well taken care of? No? That's like calling all single mom's, Gold Diggers. Some of us do make our own money and support our kids just fine. Did you ever think that maybe, they like each other for who they are?
_________________________
Empty Nesting

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#151030 - 10/06/06 07:51 PM Re: Susan... [Re: LeAnne]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
Did you ever think that maybe, they like each other for who they are?
++++++

No, I don't ever think that. Based on what I've seen...what her apartment was like as my d's described to me. The quickness of which she moved in. The number of times I've seen my ex caring for the D while M was not home.

Knowing my ex the way I do. I plain, flat out, think she's after him for his income and the lifestyle he has to offer her.

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