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#151699 - 10/05/06 08:09 PM How much child support
jinx9702 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/05/06
Posts: 8
I've never been divorced before so I'm not sure how this works. I asked my husband for a divorce a little while ago and he has moved out until I can get into subsdized housing (hopefully 2 months max). Then my husband plans to move back in our home and try to keep it. At the moment he is living with a friend for free, so we are keeping the finance the same and I am paying all the bills as if nothing happened. We have 2 children under 3 and once I move out with them, we plan to do 50/50 custody. I am hoping once the dust settles that we will be able to do the divorce without any attorneys, but on our own to save us each money, which he agrees to so far, but once again I want to wait for the dust to settle. I think I'm supposed to go to the Friend of Court Office once I have my own place to establish child support (he makes 2/3 almost double what I do) but I know they will make him pay way too much and then he won't be able to keep the house. I'm hoping maybe we can just agree on an amount, but he says he'd rather have it taken out of his check instead of handing it over to me.

So my questions are: What is the process to establish child support? Should I go to the Friend of Court now, or wait until I'm on my own, or wait until we file for divorce? If FOC says he should give me what I think is too much, can I decrease the amount? Just looking for advice.

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#151700 - 10/05/06 08:13 PM Re: How much child support [Re: jinx9702]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
Advice - unless there is some type of abuse going on or he is a druggie, stay married.

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#151701 - 10/05/06 08:20 PM Re: How much child support [Re: Buckeye]
jinx9702 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/05/06
Posts: 8
If I stay, it is not a good environment for my children. Staying in the marriage is not an option (tried counseling and other things for the last 3 years trying to save it).

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#151702 - 10/05/06 08:22 PM Re: How much child support [Re: jinx9702]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
Divorcing isn't a good environment for your children either.

Because, no matter what, they are going to have to live and probably go to school in a worse environment.

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#151703 - 10/05/06 08:29 PM Re: How much child support [Re: Buckeye]
jinx9702 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/05/06
Posts: 8
Why do you say that? Did you divorce with young children?

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#151704 - 10/05/06 09:04 PM Re: How much child support [Re: jinx9702]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
Nope, married for 37 years BUT I do read and hear what others on this board and others have said.

If there is anyway to make a marriage work unless there is abuse, drugs or he is a cheat, try to keep the marriage together especially when you have young children.

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#151705 - 10/05/06 09:20 PM Re: How much child support [Re: Buckeye]
Avaya Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 9850
Loc: Arkansas
Amen. Stay married. Statistics show that 50% of couples who divorce are just as unhappy 5 years later and 50% of couples who stay together are 50% happier 5 years later.

Forget counseling - DECIDE that you want to keep the marriage intact and then DO it. Things are NOT likely to be better post divorce, barring abuse.
_________________________
Eternity is too long to be wrong.

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#151706 - 10/05/06 10:00 PM Re: How much child support [Re: Avaya]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
Getting divorced was the best decision I could have made for me and my family. 5 years later, I'm much happier.

You need to file for divorce and request temporary orders for child support and spousal support if you need it.

I don't think you and your kids should move to subsidized housing. That's not a good place for children. Try to work out a different plan with your ex.

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#151707 - 10/05/06 10:22 PM Re: How much child support [Re: jinx9702]
Lucy44 Offline
old hand

Registered: 07/11/05
Posts: 874
Loc: Rochester, MN
Quote:

"Why do you say that? Did you divorce with young children?"

------------------------
Just for starters:


In 1996, children of divorce were 50% more likely than their counterparts from intact families to divorce.

In 19 states reporting custody in 1997: 72% of custody were awarded to the wife, 9% were awarded to the husband. In 16% joint custody was awarded. Parents who are awarded and receive child support have higher incomes.

Fatherless homes account for 63% of youth suicides, 90% of homeless/runaway children, 85% of children with behavior problems, 71% of high school dropouts, 85% of youths in prison, well over 50% of teen mothers.
_________________________
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

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#151708 - 10/05/06 11:23 PM Re: How much child support [Re: Susanf31]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
"I don't think you and your kids should move to subsidized housing. That's not a good place for children."

That's an ignorant statement, Susan.

"Subsidized" can mean several different things, and depending on what area of the country you live in...can be pretty darn nice. I just put a client in a subsidized home last week....with a larger yard and more sq. ft. than my house.

I would imagine that what you picture is a large, urban apartment-like complex with a high crime rate and high drug use. *Most* subsidized properties aren't that way.

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