Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Page 1 of 41 1 2 3 40 41 >
Topic Options
#154911 - 10/17/06 01:04 AM DH went to the deposition hearing today
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
And basically what came out of that is...they are wanting to settle with us. I'm not sure if it's because BM no longer has the money or they realize they don't have a strong case.

IMHO, what they are wanting to do sucks on some points. They are claiming we owe her $3200.00 (and surprise they did not know that we had a $900 overrage in cs..not sure how that is going to effect anything yet) and basically...they are wanting us to pay her $100 per month on that. She can't get any more than that out of us outside of CS....HOWEVER...she also has the liberty to keep signing them up for crap, keep taking them to chiro,etc. to run the bills up..so we will never have her paid off. That is the sucky part. But at the same time, she can never ask us to pay her more than $100 per month on that outside of CS.

What do you think?

So..we are trying to come up with our own demands on that. Here is what I have so far:

-no chiro care PERIOD as long as it's not covered by insurance. If it IS covered at some point, then only upon the father's agreement may she take them to the chiro..and only then at a limited number of visits per year.

-No indoor soccer

-No Club soccer

Do you think we should include anything else? Like..the soccer camp, etc.?

See..we will have a hard time paying her $100 a month since we now have to pay for the braces and the lien on our van (we have to get the title back).

I just don't want him to be screwed. DH made it plain to them that he doesn't want all this added to the CS because he doesn't want an arrearage...but we have that $900 overpayment that shoudl be applied to this stuff..plus the stuff we billed her for that she never reimbursed us. So that should be taken out.

Oh yeah..and we do not agree with any part of the uncovered chiro that has already been spent...we are refusing to pay for that..so her $3200.00 figure should drop significantly.

I'm just confused..not feeling good either. Any advice, tips,etc?

Top
#154912 - 10/17/06 01:28 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: M5M5]
jsp Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 4197
If you and your husband don't agree, don't settle. And, even if you settle, you don't have to take the first offer.

If child support is a stretch, do not agree to $100 more a month if you cannot afford it with the braces. And, medically necessary treatment covered by insurance only as agreed to in advance (in less of emergency) or mom pays entire amount.

I would not agree to pay anything you didn't authorize. I would agree to drop the overpayment and have her drop the $3200 and call it even (that's what my husband and his ex did vs. arguing as she wanted retroactive child support and he had a huge overpayment as he kept paying allimony for years after it was over as child support was low). You pay child support and braces and that is it in less you suddenly win the lottery and can afford more and at that time you renegociate. If mom wants kids in activities she pays via child support. If you can help, great, if not, ok, but don't let it be in the order that you will help.

Top
#154913 - 10/17/06 01:40 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: jsp]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
Well it's already in the order that we are repsonsible for 1/2 of extra curriculars...but it has to be a joint decision. They won't settle with taking out extras entirely. So..basically right now we only agree with them playing middle and hs soccer...and band if they decide to continue with that (right now SD is saying she doesn't like it and won't do it next year...middle ss is saying he will not do it thru high school).

Top
#154914 - 10/17/06 01:44 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: jsp]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
ANother question while I'm thinking about it..with a 30K a year income..how much would you say is appropriate to be spent on extra curriculars for an entire year? See..we also want to set limits on this stuff...if we take out the no club soccer, etc. and instead having a "not to exceed" figure..then she will have to stick with that and not bill us for more than that figure in a year, whether or not she exceeds it herself or not>

Top
#154915 - 10/17/06 01:46 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: M5M5]
katiefedup Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/27/05
Posts: 11669
If your HS's earings are 30,000 yearly...I would say no more than 2,000 a year on EXTRA'S total (all the kids)!!!! Period.

Top
#154916 - 10/17/06 01:48 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: M5M5]
jsp Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 4197
For $30,000 a year and two families - NOTHING. Here you can't afford to live on it so I'm hoping where you live the cost of living is better. For $30,000 a year, you do the sports and activities at school and anything else you can find low cost.

Bottom line, do not agree to anything you cannot afford. If you are paying braces, then you cannot pay activities. Something has got to give. If she is unreasonable, then let a judge decide... at that point what do you have to lose... NOTHING.

Hang in there!

Top
#154917 - 10/17/06 01:50 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: katiefedup]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
See even that seems high to me. I understand that once the kids get in high school the expenses go up..but even when we had custody of the kids we didn't spend that much on all of them total. Right now we are looking at just a figure for his half only for his 3 kids with BM. I know we won't spend nearly that much on the other two kids.

So..you think...$1000.00 per year for his half total? or less? I can't see it being more.

Top
#154918 - 10/17/06 01:51 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: katiefedup]
jsp Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 4197
Given after taxes, child support, medical insurance, the take home on $30,000 isn't much. $2000 for our households is probably reasonable (but probably will not happen in our house as that is a college fund).... but way too much in theirs. $2000 a month is easily 2 months pay. $30,000 = $2500 a month not including taxes, other stuff they take out, child support, health insurance, food, rent, etc. Maybe $500 a year max.

Top
#154919 - 10/17/06 01:51 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: jsp]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
Ok..just trying to get different opinions...and what all we should put on the table to them. If she is really running out of money..and my guess she is..then she may settle for what we ask for...and really..I don't see them continuing with some of the huge expenses if the money is not there anymore. Or even if it's "almost" depleted.

Top
#154920 - 10/17/06 01:52 AM Re: DH went to the deposition hearing today [Re: jsp]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
See I was thinking $500 a year too...that's still more than what we spent on all the kids for extras when we had custody.

Top
Page 1 of 41 1 2 3 40 41 >

Moderator:  dsAdmin 


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: