I am in Ohio. Divorce final in 2005. 30 year marriage. QDRO was done at time of finalization of divorce and my share was transferred into a separate account in my name and I appointed a beneficiary in the event that I die before starting to receive any of the pension. Had I not appointed a beneficiary, the money would go into my estate.
Once the QDRO is done, there is no way that you will get that part of pension back, unless your ex dies and had named you as the beneficiary. Pension monies earned during the marriage are considered a marital asset and once divided is a done deal.
Remarriage has nothing to do with the pension split... perhaps you are thinking of remarriage and spousal support?
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".