Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Topic Options
#171633 - 12/08/06 09:09 AM EX Cohabitating in Connecticut and New York
MisterB Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/08/06
Posts: 2
My EX (wife) is living with a guy, who by all standards is her boyfriend. I have found this out through my children, who are in their 20's/30's. I live in California, where the divorce was finalized over 3 years ago. Ex and I were married 26 years. I tried to get my Spousal Support lowered or eliminated the other day at court, but the EX showed up and lied about her work history, declared herself sick and too disabled to work, and would not produce tax records or bank accounts. She lied further and said she lives with her landlord, who rents her a room. Of course, the judge favored her story, and my attorney wimped out and didn't fight to make the judge see the truth. I am appalled at our stupid legal system and how injust it operates.

What steps do I take to uncover the evidence I need to show that my EX is cohabitating and being supported by a boyfriend. How does somebody prove this kind of thing? If I can show this is happening, I can use it to help me lower my support to her. What are the rules on this? Is NY and CT law on cohabitation useful to a California court relative to this matter?

#171634 - 12/08/06 01:52 PM Re: EX Cohabitating in Connecticut and New York [Re: MisterB]
Miranda Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
Hire a P.I.
13.1...because I am only half crazy!

#171635 - 12/14/06 08:46 PM Re: EX Cohabitating in Connecticut and New York [Re: Miranda]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
The first and, perhaps, most important step is know what you must prove. Each state has different laws and legal burdens. In many states, cohabitation does not, by itself, terminate a spousal support obligation. Often, only remarriage does so. As a result, you must demonstrate that a person cohabitating with your ex is contributing to her monthly expenses and, thus, reduces her need.

To prove that point, you would have to perform discovery (which is only possible when a motion is pending) or hire a private investigator. You could have a PI look through the garbage to see if mail arrives addressed to the co-habitant. A PI could take photos of the individual entering the residence and/or license numbers of vehicles and documenting when they are parked there. You could subpoena the landlord, you could acquire the checks used to pay the rent and determine who was paying it.

#171636 - 01/13/07 08:53 PM Re: EX Cohabitating in Connecticut and New York [Re: MisterB]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
As part of the "discovery" process or via subpoenas, you can get copies of her financial records, like bank/loan statements and bills to prove that she couldn't possibly living her current lifestyle without the financial support of someone else.
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

#171637 - 01/13/07 09:49 PM Re: EX Cohabitating in Connecticut and New York [Re: Gecko]
googledad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
It also depends on the wording of your CO , unless it states cohabitation is grounds for termination of support you'll still have to pay .


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: