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#17750 - 06/23/05 04:52 PM the process....
Akyavasha Offline
newbie

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 28
Loc: Iowa
OK, on tuesday my m.i.l. brought down the pettition for me to sign the acceptance for it. But once I signed it she refused to let me have my copy, she let me skim over it, and that's it. I need to know what I can do, 'cause since I signed that acceptance of service, I have 20 days to respond or it's "game over"...I've already called their lawyer, and am waiting on a reply, is there anything else I can to?
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Maybe i'll get lucky and in my next life I can be a dog!!!

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#17751 - 06/28/05 09:39 PM Re: the process.... [Re: Akyavasha]
Akyavasha Offline
newbie

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 28
Loc: Iowa
I talked to my stbx's lawyer and he is sendingme a copy of the pettiton in the mail so that I have one. He also gave me his personal promise that he would not have me put in "default" for not responding in the time allotted. He' is starting work on a settlement agreement.
here we go.
_________________________
Maybe i'll get lucky and in my next life I can be a dog!!!

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#17752 - 07/02/05 02:33 AM Re: the process.... [Re: Akyavasha]
Miranda Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
PLEASE take your ex's lawyer's "promise" with a grain of salt. He is not your friend nor does he have ANY of your interests in mind. NONE, he works for your ex!!
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!

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#17753 - 07/02/05 03:52 PM Re: the process.... [Re: Akyavasha]
Karen1 Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 1804
Loc: Ohio
Do you have a lawyer representing you? If not, IMO you should. I would in NO way trust the lawyer of my stbx... no way. I would have lost assets for sure that way. Neither would I sign anything without have a lawyer that represents just I see it and give legal advise on pros and cons.
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"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".

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#17754 - 07/02/05 05:05 PM Re: the process.... [Re: Karen1]
Akyavasha Offline
newbie

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 28
Loc: Iowa
I have a friend in jag that is advising me since I can't afford a lawyer. as far as the military is concerned it is a "civil matter" and they won't/can't help legally...so he's doing this at some small risk to himself. so while technically I don't have a lawyer, I do have a legal advisor to help me with the paper work.
_________________________
Maybe i'll get lucky and in my next life I can be a dog!!!

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#17755 - 07/04/05 12:21 PM Re: the process.... [Re: Akyavasha]
AZRN Offline
member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 151
Your STBX's lawyer has NO ability to "promise" anything in regards to you being in default! This is determined by the state's proscribed time limit for you to respond to the petition (usually 20 days). If you don't respond, you are in default. Your stbx may choose not to officially file for default, but it is highly unlikely to happen like that as it to HIS ADVANTAGE to file for default! It's the most common way of moving the case forward when the respondent in the case does NOT respond.

Also, you should have been officially served all the court papers already filed and signed some sort of acceptance or waiver of process server. If not, there's been some sort of miscarriage here... Either way, get a copy of the petition ASAP! Read it over very carefully. If there's anything you don't agree with, you need to file a response ASAP!! Otherwise, you will lose the opportunity to have a say in the process. Not repsonding essentially says you agree to what's in his petition.

Now, since you don't have kids with this guy and apparently don't own property together (if I remember correctly from previous posts), this really can be a simple divorce. Maybe letting it go to default will work, as it saves you the cost of responding. However, you once mentioned that you wanted support. I seriously doubt your stbx's lawyer would "recommend" that to his client, since you two weren't married for long... What's the deal, here, Akyavasha? Has that been addressed? And NOT just verbally, but in writing IN THE PETITION. If not, you will not get support, period. You are in over your head if you are following the advice of your stbx's lawyer. Remember, from an ethical standpoint, his lawyer SHOULD represent HIS client's interests--not yours. The only thing I can think of that would justify you not filing a response is if you are going to agree to everything he wants and then let it go to default OR file a consent decree. Are you two planning on signing a consent decree?

Just to recap, once the time limit expires, your stbx can file for default at any time. In fact, something MUST be filed within about 90 days (either default or consent decree), in order to keep the case active.

It sounds to me like you have let the time limit come and go, since you still do not even have a copy of the petition. Why weren't you served properly? Your MIL is NOT authorized to serve you, but it sounds like even that "process" did not yield a copy delivered to you. Didn't your JAG advisor mention anything about being properly served the court documents or responding in a timely manner?

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#17756 - 07/04/05 06:53 PM Re: the process.... [Re: AZRN]
matilda Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 2143
I agree that it is not in your best interest to go along with your ex's attorney. Your ex is paying him to be on HIS side not yours.

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#17757 - 07/05/05 08:20 PM Re: the process.... [Re: matilda]
Akyavasha Offline
newbie

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 28
Loc: Iowa
I just filed my response today..I did get my copy of the pettition...and in the pettition it says nothing about who gets what or anything like that. It's just the facts of the case...where we live, when we were married, that he feels that the marriage has been "broken" beyond repair so he wants a divorce. His mother didn't even get the address, or our wedding date right in the pettiton, but I made sure in my response that it was corrected...but everything else in it is true.
_________________________
Maybe i'll get lucky and in my next life I can be a dog!!!

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#17758 - 07/06/05 05:33 AM Re: the process.... [Re: Akyavasha]
AZRN Offline
member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 151
So did you ask for support or anything else in your response?

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#17759 - 07/06/05 07:47 AM Re: the process.... [Re: AZRN]
Akyavasha Offline
newbie

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 28
Loc: Iowa
no, my response was a general as the pettition...his lawyer is drawing up a proposed settelment agreement...when I get that i'll read it. probly fax it to my friend in JAG, and go from there.
_________________________
Maybe i'll get lucky and in my next life I can be a dog!!!

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