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#197505 - 02/21/07 11:56 PM child support
jrl1951 Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 30
Loc: New Jersey
I need some serious advice and hopefully a lawyer out there will be reading this. I am divorced. We have two children. One is 20. Our son has been having severe stress the last 2 years due to the divorce, senior year stress, top of his class, etc.. As a result of the anxiety he has been hospitalized two times and more recently was hospitalized for a 3rd time with an eating disorder from which he almost died this past Dec. He is coming home in a week from being inpatient and now outpatient. The therapists want him to get his own place until he gets back to college in the fall. His parents will have to help support him with rent, food etc. My ex has been paying child support for him. The ex called today and told me we would have to talk about him not giving me support money for our son when he comes home. He then mentioned emancipation which scared me. Our son when he does come home will have approx. 5 dr's visits a week and will be unable to work very much for a while. I agree that obviously child support would have to change but he continued to talk about emancipation. I explained to him the college still considers him as enrolled full time but just not taking courses right now. I need some advice. I live in NJ. I don't have a lawyer anymore since it cost me $35K for the divorce. What should I do. I'm worried that if he stops paying me support he will not give that money to our son and may try to emancipate him. He has not paid any money for college for our son as he agreed to in the divorce papers. The agreement stated we would both help pay, but no amount was agreed upon. I have been paying the interest on the loan and have given our son a small amount for tuition. There are many other times I have been supporting our son with supplements for weight gain, etc. Should I see a lawyer and who in South Jersey?

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#197506 - 02/22/07 12:42 AM Re: child support [Re: jrl1951]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
If you have counselor's testimony and can show his enrollment status as still being full-time, it's extremely unlikely that a court would rule your son emancipated. It's all dependant upon how well you present your case. And while you can do it without a lawyer, one would be advisable if you want to increase your chances of winning. Being that your ex KNOWS your son is not truly an emancipation case (since he IS still enrolled full-time by NJ standards and since he does have these medical problems which has him on a TEMPORARY time out of school only), you could conceivably ask that your ex be responsible for your attorney's fees. You could increase your chances for those fees as well if you file a counter claim for contempt on him for non-payment of any of the AGREED UPON school fees. Judging by the way NJ leaves the age of emancipation open and considers college quite readily, it appears they lean more towards the child, which may give you a better case in this matter.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#197507 - 02/22/07 12:45 AM Re: child support [Re: almostheaven]
jsp Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/01/05
Posts: 4197
At some point the child support should stop as your son is no longer a child. If he is not in school full-time and a high school graduate or 19, many courts will not continue child support.

If he is that ill and cannot work, you should apply for SSDI for him.

http://www.ssa.gov/dibplan/index.htm

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#197508 - 02/22/07 12:51 AM Re: child support [Re: jrl1951]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
I could see the whole "senior year stress, top of his class, etc.." thing if he were still in high school, but he's not 18, he's 20, and in what...his second year of college?

So what is giving him own apartment and paying all his bills supposed to accomplish? Why can't he just live with you or Dad and not go to school until next Fall?

If son is not going to school...then Dad has the legal right to ask that his CS obligation being stopped. Then if come Fall...son is able to return to school, the courts could then be petitioned to re-establish support.

Why are you paying interest on his loans? They shouldn't be due and payable until AFTER he graduates.
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#197509 - 02/22/07 12:58 AM Re: child support [Re: jrl1951]
Miranda Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
If he is paying CS for an adult, he IS in fact contributing to his college. Are you sending your son the CS your ex pays?
_________________________
13.1...because I am only half crazy!

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#197510 - 02/22/07 01:19 AM Re: child support [Re: Gecko]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
The interest still accrues. You don't HAVE to pay it while in school, but they just rack up if you don't.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#197511 - 02/22/07 01:20 AM Re: child support [Re: almostheaven]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Ok...then it is her CHOICE to pay.
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#197512 - 02/22/07 02:04 AM Re: child support [Re: Gecko]
jrl1951 Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 30
Loc: New Jersey
I'm paying the interest on the loans because we both agreed to help pay for college and the interest just adds up. Out of the child support my ex gives me $550 every 2 weeks I've been giving our son $215 for all his expenses which includes $50/wk for supplements, clothing, living expenses, food, gas, etc. Our son has been in college full-time since Sept 05, it's only recent he had to drop out winter semester and spring and stay under dr's care till fall when he plans to return. His therapist wants him to get his own place and start dealing with his issues. Char thank you for your valuable information. My ex likes to use the "I talked to my lawyer" when I know he probably didn't, so I have some good points to bring up.

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#197513 - 02/22/07 02:27 AM Re: child support [Re: jrl1951]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Out of the child support my ex gives me $550 every 2 weeks I've been giving our son $215 for all his expenses which includes $50/wk for supplements, clothing, living expenses, food, gas, etc.

---> So if you're giving son $215 to pay for all of his own living expenses...where is the other $335 going towards?

Our son has been in college full-time since Sept 05....

---> So again...if he's a sophmore in college, why is he still dealing with "senior year stress, top of his class, etc.." TWO YEARS later?

it's only recent he had to drop out winter semester and spring and stay under dr's care till fall when he plans to return.

---> I'm sorry, but again...he has still dropped out and legally, Dad has every right to stop child support. If and when son returns to school...so long as it's before the state's cut off date...which in many is 21...he can petition to have the support start up again.

His therapist wants him to get his own place and start dealing with his issues.

---> Again...how is getting his own place going to help him deal with his "issues"?
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#197514 - 02/22/07 02:49 AM Re: child support [Re: Gecko]
jrl1951 Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 30
Loc: New Jersey
Gecko, you don't get it. The rest of the money goes to our daughter. Next, the son has had the problem for 2 years and has been hospitalized 3 times now. Once the summer after high school, then 2 months later, and now this past Dec. The problem was he never dealt with the stress except to restrict and exercise till he almost dropped dead in college. It's the dealiest of all mental disorders. Now he's getting out of inpatient/outpatient since 12/14. He dropped out medically from college and plans to return in the fall. The college has him as full time but not registered for classes on a medical leave. He is barely able to hold a job right now and will be required to see the doctor 3 times a week plus a nutritionist, and medical dr weekly, he has anorexia which almost killed him due to the anxiety from his father's alcoholism, high school, the divorce, money issues he heard about all the time from his parents. Now his therapist wants him to figure things out instead of looking to mom to help, since dad is incoherant most of the time.
My problem is this, I don't believe the ex will support our son. He has not contributed to college, it took him over a year to get the life insurance policies required by the court incase he kills himself soon from the liquor and smoking relentlessly. Oh yes, his brother died at 50 from alcoholism.
I agree that he should not pay me the child support if the son is not living with me, but I don't trust him to live up to his word that he will give our son the full support he needs until he gets back on his feet.

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