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#197545 - 02/24/07 04:31 AM Re: child support [Re: jrl1951]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;do I agree to let him stop giving me the child support money for our son

No. He still owes it per court order. And until the court says otherwise, he will continue to owe it regardless of what you agree to.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;how do I figure that amount out since there are 2 kids

You don't. The court does, using the guidelines.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;can he just stop giving me the money without going back to court?

He can stop anytime. He can also have his wages garnished, lose his license, go to jail, have his taxes taken, any number of things. Stopping paying doesn't equate to not owing.

My question is...knowing he has NOT followed the CO in contributing to college, WHY would you AGREE to let him stop CS and VOLUNTEER to pay your son directly. I can guarantee you that your son would never get one red cent from him if you did.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#197546 - 02/24/07 04:33 AM Anorexia is a mental disorder... [Re: Avaya]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Anorexic patients starve themselves to the point that their liver, kidney, etc. shuts down. They become skeletons. In their HEAD, they still see themselves as huge, even if their bones are protruding. Their bodily functions stop working one by one until they die. But it's ALL in the head. It's the mental disorder causing them to starve themselves that causes the physical complications. It's a very difficult disease to beat and requires a lot of therapy. They never really GET OVER it either. They can always slip back into anorexia if they don't monitor it constantly.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#197547 - 02/24/07 04:35 AM It is as much a choice as... [Re: Sherron]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Being schitzophrenic or psychotic or narcissistic, etc. etc.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#197548 - 02/24/07 01:17 PM Re: It is as much a choice as... [Re: almostheaven]
jrl1951 Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 30
Loc: New Jersey
Thank you "Almost Heaven" and what you say makes total sense. If anyone is interested in reading more about this to enlighten yourselves you can go to the National Eating Disorders Association website

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#197549 - 02/24/07 04:53 PM Re: It is as much a choice as... [Re: jrl1951]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
I make a committment to lose weight back in 2002 and have spent a lot of time researching healthy eating. I post on weight loss boards and so have read quite a bit about many EDs. There was also a recent segment on some show I caught of a girl with anorexia. She was almost to the brink of death too. They pulled her back, but she was STILL anorexic. It was only with a lot of support that she was keeping alive and eating.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#197550 - 02/24/07 05:39 PM Re: It is as much a choice as... [Re: almostheaven]
jrl1951 Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 30
Loc: New Jersey
Thanks Char, my son was shutting down too. He has had reversal of most of the problems with his liver, kidneys, etc. He still has some bone loss in his hip and we don't yet how bad that is or if it will repair itself. I know you can beat the illness but it takes a lot of work and time.
Judy-New Jersey

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#197551 - 02/24/07 06:35 PM Re: It is as much a choice as... [Re: almostheaven]
Miranda Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
[quote]Being schitzophrenic or psychotic or narcissistic, etc. etc. [/quote]

I am unsure if I'd agree with that. As an anorexic you make a choice NOT to eat. It starts somewhere at some point you decide to starve yourself. Now the root of the anorexia could be stress or depression, or body dysmorphic disease, but there is no conscious effort to become a schizophrenic-that is a brain malfunction. Anorexia starts with some sort of an obsession. An obsession about food, and obession about weight, and obsession about control, etc.

Anorexics can seek counseling and treatment and can live normals lives being "cured" similar to alcoholics or drug addicts. Schizophrenics do not have that option and cannot funcion in a "societal norm" without heavy doses of medication.
_________________________
13.1...because I am only half crazy!

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#197552 - 02/25/07 12:15 AM Not precisely... [Re: Miranda]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
You DO make a choice; however, it's because MENTALLY you keep seeing yourself as huge, fat, obese. You can be 5' 10" and weight 100 pounds and look in the mirror and see a 300 pound slob. You'll see fat rolls hanging where bone is actually protruding. It's all in the mind. The brain still malfunctions, creating this incorrect body image. The choice to starve is DUE to the brain malfunction. And yes, they can get counseling and treatment and live normal lives, but like alcoholics, they are NOT cured. Once an alcoholic, ALWAYS an alcoholic. They can NEVER take one drink again for fear of slipping back. Anorexia is just like that.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#197553 - 02/25/07 01:57 PM Re: Not precisely... [Re: almostheaven]
Redlegg Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/06/06
Posts: 27903
Its like drug addicts making a choice to use drugs or an alcoholic making the choice to drink. It is a choice, but people who have these conditions are not capable of making any other choice. You cannot simply eat, or stop taking drugs, or drinking and all is well, you have to deal with mechanisms of the choices being made, or you will make the same choices again.

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#197554 - 02/25/07 02:48 PM Re: Not precisely... [Re: Redlegg]
jrl1951 Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/23/05
Posts: 30
Loc: New Jersey
when you are depleted nutritionally you can't make decisions, the disease has taken control then. I'm not sure the same reasons exist for men as they do for women as the cause. I know my son had severe anxiety/depressin and that triggered it. He is learning new coping skills and has switched to a new medication that seems to be helping a lot. It's fairly new and now that I look back the other medication never was helping. He goes to a psychopharmacologist now for his medication. This doctor is very good. I do think the switching of the medication may have been factor in a very fast downward spiral along with him not seeking help. Right now I can hear him in his room and he is acting like the old son I haven't had for over 2 years.

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