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#198392 - 02/23/07 05:39 PM Vent...sports
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
Good greif! Got a call from BM today...left a message stating that all three kids had soccer practice this weekend, all at different fields. I'm like...WTH? SS15 has soccer practice every day after school (HS soccer) and today DH will pick him up from practice around 6pm. SS13 just started middle school practices...but those are during the week. SD...she is playing soccer again? SD has said that she doesn't want to play soccer at all.

So...I go to the club soccer web page..and sure enough...she has signed SS15 up for it, along with HS soccer...signed SS13 up for it, along with middle school soccer, and signed SD up for it (at least she just finished her BB cheerleading I think). I'm wondering how in the world they are going to manage all of this. SS15 has HS soccer EVERY day after school (practices) and his games will be starting in March. His club soccer practices are on Saturdays and a few days during the week (not sure exactly how many yet because the club owner is not consistant in his scheduling and will add on more practices here and there...he is also the HS soccer coach btw).

As far as I know SS13 middle school practices are 3 days a week after school (if not more). Seems like the only one who will have any free time what so ever is SD...she is only practicing 2-3 times a week (at this time).

I just get so sick of this...of her just dropping all this on us out of the blue...This is a first...her having them play both club and school soccer all at the same time.

I expect a bill any day now for all of it. Of course, the only things DH agreed on is the school related sports. Not club. I just get SO sick of this BS! SS13 and SD's grades are suffering BIG TIME...now I see the grades getting worse. SD made an F in READING!!! She had a couple of D's too...and so did SS13. SS15 is the only one keeping his grades up. These kids are honor students...or where when we had custody...and now look at them!

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#198393 - 02/23/07 06:02 PM Re: Vent...sports [Re: M5M5]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
You just do what you can and if a kid misses practice...oh well.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#198394 - 02/23/07 06:06 PM Re: Vent...sports [Re: Gecko]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
Well we will def. make sure they get to their school practices as I think those are more important...not to mention that we agreed on those. Me personally...I wouldn't worry too much about the club practices....DH will do his best to see that they get there though...that's just the way he is. Even if he didn't agree to it and doesn't approve.

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#198395 - 02/23/07 06:24 PM I agree [Re: M5M5]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
You do what you can do....but in some situations, choices will need to be made...and the high school practices should take preference. We've had that issue arise because my daughter plays 2 high school sports as well as 2 off season 'club' sports. There is always overlap between the one that is 'in season' for high school and the other sport's club season and vice versa. The club coaches all know who their dual sport athletes are and understand that while a sport is in season, the school programs are the priority.

Since they will be with you on the weekends, and you are aware of what subject they are struggling in, why not tie their participation during your time on successfully completing some extra work in those subject areas????

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#198396 - 02/23/07 06:41 PM Re: I agree [Re: Melody]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
I've never thought of that! How would I do that? From what I understand by looking at their school reports...the reason SD is failing reading is because she has not been doing her homework. Most of the items she made U/F's on is homework...and then the tests too. I'm really not sure if she is still cheering or not, but she was only doing that twice a week with a game on saturdays. So..I think it also has alot to do with her mom just not caring/making sure she gets it done, etc. She told me last weekend that when she was doing her homework, her mom made her stop to clean her room..then she had no time to finish it because they went out to dinner afterwards and then onto a ball game. Of course, she could be making that up...but I kinda don't think so. BM leaves them alone too much, does not care what they do or who they hang out with as long as they are out of her hair.

Another really sad thing...SD told me a few weeks ago that she overheard her mom talking to someone on the phone..and she was saying that she wished she didn't have a daughter because they are too much trouble..that she would have much rather have had a boy. She didn't know SD could hear her. SD was crying when she told me this. Broke my heart.

Anyhow..it's the same thing with SS13..he is not made to do his homework, so he doesn't. So then he gets Fs...and then fails some of the tests. The boys are more involved in sports...pretty much nonstop for the past two years. If you recall..one of the big issues (other than financial) of DH not agreeing to the club soccer is because of his grades in school. BM just doesn't seem to care. I have NEVER seen him bring any books/homework home when he is here (Wednesdays and EOF).

The club season never seems to end. They took a break for about a month..and now they are back at it agian....and as soon as the spring season is over, into summer it goes, then directly into fall/winter. I just don't get how BM can put sports over school.

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#198397 - 02/23/07 06:53 PM Well.... [Re: M5M5]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
Honestly, I can't see how you can effect them doing their homework and turning it in when they are only with you briefly each week. You'd really have to get in contact with the teachers and request homework for the weekends that you have them....at least you could supervise that.

What I had in mind was obtaining extra work specific to the subjects they are doing poorly in....math, reading, etc. You can purchase workbooks at teacher supply stores and make them do a few pages each day of the weekend BEFORE they are allowed to go to a practice or game. You may have to work with them to grasp the concepts (multiplication of fractions, whatever), but at least if they aren't doing their work at home....they are getting some exposure to the work with you and it could help their grades. You can find out from the teachers exactly what areas you could be targeting. You can also ask the teacher for practice worksheets after you explain what it is you have in mind. As a teacher, I would be glad to see a child's other family wanting to do something to try and help them. Also, there are numerous websites where you can print out math worksheets. I don't teach reading or Language Arts, so I'm not familiar with what's out there, but how about having the children read chapter books at their reading level and have to respond to you about what they've read???

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#198398 - 02/23/07 06:56 PM Re: Well.... [Re: Melody]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
That's a great idea! I will discuss that with DH today...he will support it too.

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#198399 - 02/23/07 10:45 PM Re: Vent...sports [Re: M5M5]
LeAnne Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 10232
Loc: missouri
I can't believe the schools are letting them play with grades like that. Here you have to have a C or above to play. Drop below and you are off the team for the next semester, until grades come out again. Might be something to bring up to the judge. Here are their report cards before all these sports, look at them now, they are failing. Education should come before all sports, you can't keep up, sorry you don't play. Is there such a thing as educational neglect?
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#198400 - 02/24/07 01:29 AM In most high schools, it's a 2.0 average [Re: LeAnne]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
or you don't play....so you could still fail a class and have adequate grades in other subjects to maintain the 2.0 average. In lower school, (middle and junior high) they may not have a policy...but I feel they should. A couple of teachers and I have been trying to get an athletic policy in my school for 4 years now....we finally got one through that looked like it was going to work, but the principal won't back it up by enforcing it...even though she approved of it in the beginning of the year. She just doesn't want to deal with whining parents when their little darling can't play basketball because he has a D or an F in a subject. Boy...some parents really amaze me....they are more concerned over their 13 year old missing out on less than 8 lousy basketball games than failing a major curriculum area such as math or reading.

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#198401 - 02/25/07 02:51 AM Re: In most high schools, it's a 2.0 average [Re: Melody]
momx3 Offline
old hand

Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 1036
Locally, it used to be a D or above permitted you to continue participation. Now, anything goes. Make an F, big deal! You can still participate.

I call it the dumbing down of America's children.

My kids know that my rule is below a C and you're outta there!
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I'm not bossy...I just have better ideas!

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#198402 - 02/25/07 07:25 AM Re: In most high schools, it's a 2.0 average [Re: momx3]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
Exactly...as far as I know...there are no "real" guidelines (at least none that they go by) in regards to failing grades and sports. I'm not real sure bout HS sports...because SS15 is not having any problems yet with his grades. Once SS13 gets to HS next year...I guess we will see if the HS goes by whatever guidelines are in place. I know the middle school doesn't.

SD told us yesterday that she didn't even know she was signed up for club soccer until this past Thursday. When she found out, she threw a fit with her mom because she doesn't want to play. She wants to be on the middle school track team. Her mother said "You will play soccer and nothing else because I am too busy with your brother's soccer to have you do anything else..and you are already signed up for it, so tough". SD said that she cried and everything about it....but her mother is forcing her to play whether she likes it or not.

Now..I've told you guys that soccer is not SD's passion..she is not that great at it. We have told her AND Bm that she should be allowed to try out other things to see where she fits. Not gonna happen...BM is dead set against it. And we see SD's grades getting worse and worse.

Funny thing, both my SS's also told us yesterday and this morning that they did not want to play club soccer this season because of their school soccer...they will have no free time now. SO..today when it was time for their soccer practices...they asked if they could skip them so they can spend some free time with their friends and with dad. We didn't make them go. Especially SD. So...with us they finally get a free weekend.

It's really sad.

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#198403 - 02/25/07 08:55 PM There you go... [Re: M5M5]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
the wishes of the children will make your scheduling conflicts so much easier. If the one child really wants to do his club soccer in addition to his high school soccer, and his grades are fine, as you've mentioned....then it will be a lot easier for you guys to accomodate his practice/game schedule on your parenting time when you can allow the other two children to miss the practices/games that fall on your time. You might even want to mention that to the coach at some point....I mean their coaches. You explain that you'll try to get them to practices when you don't have conflicts, but that when the schedule issues do arise, the children have informed you that soccer is not their priority, so you will keep that in mind when deciding how to prioritize your family events. Then the coach might get the message that MOM is the one who is pushing the soccer.

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#198404 - 02/26/07 03:43 AM Re: Vent...sports [Re: M5M5]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
How can they do that?

IF a child is playing a sport for the school, how can they play club sport too? In our state, the schools don't allow it... they worry about injury.....

Like G- if she makes middle school basketball, she will have to stop her tournament ball and church ball. The school will not allow her to play...

You might want to check into that... I've never heard of schools allowing that.

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#198405 - 02/26/07 03:54 AM Re: Vent...sports [Re: Runswithscissors]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
I've never heard of schools "not" allowing it..not here anyway. I could check around to be sure...but I'm pretty sure that there are no guidelines around here like that.

The club soccer owner/main head coach...is also the HS soccer coach. He is still trying to get this club soccer off the ground..and in MHO (along with a few other parents that made their kids drop out of it)...he is going too far with it.

BM is going to make the kids stick with it though..she is, after all, the team manager and her husband is the "facility manager" for the club teams. She is also the vic president of the HS soccer booster club..and the main contact with the middle school team. She won't let them quit. She has a "vested interest" in the club teams.

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#198406 - 02/26/07 04:18 AM Re: Vent...sports [Re: M5M5]
agui667 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/23/06
Posts: 4497
I think if the kids are not 100% excelling in school, which is difficult to do, they should only be doing 1 activity. But, some kids can balance tons, but school should be the 1st and most important of all.

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#198407 - 02/26/07 04:30 AM Re: Vent...sports [Re: agui667]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
Yes I agree. And if they are failing...NO sports, period. Like I said, we are not having any grade problems with SS15 (he made 104 in honors English...got all A's except for one B last semester). It's the other two we are really worried about. And it's not because they can't do it...they can. THey were in the Talented and Gifted programs at school when they lived with us. Not anymore. These are A and B kids...yet they are making D's and Fs. Something is contributing to that..and I think it's a series of things...

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#198408 - 02/26/07 06:34 AM When the school sport is "in season" [Re: Runswithscissors]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
VARSITY players are not allowed to play that sport in ANY circumstance. There are usually no such rules for anything below Varsity level. For example, my daughter started the volleyball season on the JV team, but was brought up to Varsity about 3 weeks into the season. If she were "caught" playing on our church team, her school would have had to forfeit every past game that she had played in for the school as a result of playing for the church team. Once the Varsity season ended, she was then eligible for play for any other organization, church, club, etc. That's also why the club tryouts are prohibited to start until the season ends for that particular sports. Our volleyball season ends right before Thanksgiving. Playoffs usually start the following week. Club tryouts usually start last weekend of November and continue for a couple of weekends in December.

As for your situation, I've NEVER heard of a middle school prohibiting outside sports....even the same sport. We have several programs here...National Junior Basketball, AAU Basketball (which is usually the off season) and YBA (Youth Basketball of America. Both NJB and YBA run concurrently with the school season. Many children are involved in one, two, or all three programs. AAU is considered "club" and the season doesn't start until March, when the regular school basketball season is over.

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#198409 - 02/26/07 11:12 AM Re: In most high schools, it's a 2.0 average [Re: momx3]
tsl Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 2274
Our school system, for jr. high, 3 Fs and your child can't play the following 9 weeks (you can get up to 2 Fs and still play). High school, you can get 1 F and still play; 2 and you're benched.

I got ticked b/c there was a boy who not only had ALL Fs on his report card (4...or 5) he was in constant trouble. But, mommy would call coach and complain and give excuses for his grades and he got to continue to play. He wrote the F-bomb on the bus windown on way home from game, he mooned people on the bus on way home...he was kicked out of school a few times...allowed to play! That pisses me off more than anything.
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Duct tape can't fix stupid but it can keep them out of the way."

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#198410 - 02/26/07 12:31 PM Re: When the school sport is "in season" [Re: Melody]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
G plays AAU, but if she makes her middle school team, she won't be able to play outside sports....Right now.. we are in AAU basketball (church season just ended) and Dixie Softball. BUT she does not play school sports yet.

Like Softball season has started.. if she makes school softball next year she won't be able to play AAU basketball. NO outside sports at all.. even off season (if she is playing a sport). NOW.. if she plays BB but does NOT play Softball, then she can play an outside sport.. but she can not play two sports at one time. If she makes school basketball, she can't play church basketball (played during the same time).

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#198411 - 02/27/07 12:53 AM Then it's an 'inhouse' rule [Re: Runswithscissors]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
because coaches are selfish and don't like their players doing other sports during their season. Here, my daughter plays varsity volleyball while doing preseason prep for varsity basketball. During varsity basketball, she's playing club volleyball. IF she were playing softball, which she's decided not to play, she would also still be playing club volleyball (goes through June) and AAU basketball, which starts in March. She also does a "midnight" basketball program from April through July and a summer varsity league from May through July. Oh...and Varsity volleyball starts officially in August, but begins preseason prep in July.

Sure...no coach wants to find out that one of their players became injured while playing in a different game or practice...but she could fall down the stairs at home and break something too. The state athletic governing board only has regulations about varsity players and playing THE SAME SPORT while you're in season for your varsity team...because of the conflict of interest.

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