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#199388 - 02/26/07 09:50 PM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: Redlegg]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
It doesn't mean anyone has to share it at all, sometimes you just can't afford extra curricular activities and that is the way it goes.

---&gt; I understand that which why I said what I did.
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#199389 - 02/26/07 09:59 PM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: etindall8]
hibiscush Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/26/07
Posts: 7
Well, that's the thing. I just looked at the Fl. State guidelines and they are very basic. It has a table that gives figures for "basic needs". So I guess it's what is interpreted as "basic needs" that will determine what the State means by child support. Yet, it's not defined. And, again, I am only getting temp. support at this point, so none of this is spelled out. But it's still an issue I'm dealing with with him.
But, according to the State's guideline, it leads me to believe that his baseball fee is not included in c.s. and then would be a shared expense based on salary %'s.
But, what do I know?! It's all very confusing and a source of further conflict that's nothing to look forward to.

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#199390 - 02/26/07 10:02 PM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: hibiscush]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
But, according to the State's guideline, it leads me to believe that his baseball fee is not included in c.s. and then would be a shared expense based on salary %'s.

---&gt; That is true...baseball is NOT a "need"...it is a "want".
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#199391 - 02/26/07 11:02 PM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: Gecko]
Avaya Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 9850
Loc: Arkansas
Exactly, and if the OP 'wants' her son to be involved it that sport, she will have to pay for it.

Can you imagine (OP) being the one paying CS and then constantly being asked for more money for things that YOU did not get a say in whether they'd be signed up for? It's unfortunate, but again, it's just one of those things that happen when parents divorce - their kids have to do without certain things sometimes.
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#199392 - 02/26/07 11:06 PM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: Avaya]
hibiscush Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/26/07
Posts: 7
[quote]Can you imagine (OP) being the one paying CS and then constantly being asked for more money for things that YOU did not get a say in whether they'd be signed up for?[/quote]
Unfortunate when it's for the kids and will only enhance their youth. As well as it's an interest both parent's fully supported and participated in when the family was intact.

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#199393 - 02/26/07 11:08 PM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: Avaya]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
Can you imagine (OP) being the one paying CS and then constantly being asked for more money for things that YOU did not get a say in whether they'd be signed up for? It's unfortunate, but again, it's just one of those things that happen when parents divorce - their kids have to do without certain things sometimes.

+++++++++

Hellll yes! It's so unfair that all a NCP has to do is cut a check each month. They should never be asked for 'extras?" Why should extras only fall on CP's shoulders? Why should CP be the only one who has to say "no" to the kids.

Kids don't cost a "set" amount each month. As they grow and get involved in things, costs changed. It's grossely unfair that those extra costs fall soley on CP's shoulders.

God forbid an NCP ever have to do antying but cut a check.

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#199394 - 02/26/07 11:19 PM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: hibiscush]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
http://www.divorcesource.com/FL/ARTICLES/hastings1.html

"Additional longstanding extracurricular activities such as 4-H club justify an increase in the child support award. Stock v. Stock, 693 So.2d 1080 (Fla. 2d DCA 1997). In Stock, the trial court increased the father’s child support in excess of the guideline amount so to maintain the expense of the children’s horse hobby. (Id). The Second District reversed and remanded for further consideration. (Id). The Second District held that on remand, the trial court must consider the parties’ substantial debts and whether the parties can afford the maintenance and expense of the horses. (Id)."

Since it wasn't included in the CS order, you would need to have the order modified to include it. Until modified, he's not responsible for anything other than what the CO says.
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#199395 - 02/26/07 11:21 PM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: Susanf31]
Avaya Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 9850
Loc: Arkansas
Susan, many NCP's would LOVE to be more a part of their kids lives so that they ARE more than a stupid check. Writing that check each month is the EASY part. But after 15 years of being NOTHING but a check because the kid is PAS'd you get sick of it.

Mostly the extra's should fall on the CP's shoulders because that is the person signing the kid up for said extra - that is the person encouraging said child to participate in 'this sport or this pageant or this dance troupe' so that the parent can live vicariously through their child. That is the parent who is signing the child up for extras that take up tons of the child's free time so that the other parent loses the ability to plan things with the child. You want all the responsibility, you get to pay for it.
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#199396 - 02/26/07 11:53 PM Why must everyone be so all inclusive?... [Re: Avaya]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
No more so than all CPs being the ones to pick up the extras check, NEITHER are ALL CPs the ONLY ones signing the child up for extras or the ones wanting "all the responsibility". Sometimes the kid was participating prior. Sometimes the NCP signed them up. Sometimes the NCP AGREED to it. Sometimes it's just a standard activity...just ONE...just so the kid can live normally. And sometimes it's a CP signing them up for everything like in M5's case.
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#199397 - 02/27/07 12:56 AM Re: What is CS supposed to cover? [Re: hibiscush]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
I agree with Redlegg. “Sometimes you just can't afford extra curricular activities.”

My boys have reduced their extra-curriculars to nil. Partially, because of finances and partially to reduce conflict with the stbx.

Children don’t keep detailed memories of all those practices but they do seem remember every fight. It is completely stressful for us as parents; think of what it is like for them. It is extremely dehabilitating

You have to choose your battles. I fought for therapy and health insurance for the boys because I thought those were important. I didn’t fight for their karate lessons, sports, school field trips, etc.

Perhaps when I graduate; I will be able to swing more “want-to’s” for them.

EOW was a big enough adjustment so on my weekends they just enjoy being able to be in their own home with their own friends and toys with a routine they are comfortable with.

If you replace the more expensive extra-curriculars with low-cost activities, for instance we bike a lot (when there isn’t all this snow) or like today (schools were closed, again) we went sledding and built snowmen and snow forts with the whole neighborhood. I couldn’t drag them back inside and it didn’t cost me a dime.

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