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#202113 - 03/07/07 07:33 PM Custody/Visitation Issues
LostInLA Offline
recently joined

Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 1
Hello everyone and thanks for taking time to read my post. I live in Louisiana. Divorce final 1 year this May 2007. I am domiciliary parent and have joint custody with kids Dad. Kids are boy, 13 and girl, 9. My issue is that my ex is using the family court system to facilitate his retaliation b/c I left him and took some material items from the home without his consent; filed separation papers the day I left. LA law says if still married property is community and I can take what I want from the home. I left about 1 1/2 months after Hurricane Katrina and there were no places to rent for housing. Moved back in my parents home about 70 miles away. Recently I began working a great job in another city about 90 miles east of my current residence. This put me about 160 miles from his home. CO states our exchange for visitation be 1/2 way between his residential city and mine at the time of CO. My employment in the city 160 miles away placed burdens on family to assist in caring for the kids and helping with the visitation exchanges. At first, ex encouraged me and said he would not hold me back and would do what he could to help. That did not last long. He took me to court yesterday to basically take the kids from me b/c I was working in the other city and the children were staying with my parents, their grandparents. This was done in order not to disrupt the children during the school year. My intention was to relocate them once school ended this summer. However, I resigned my job in the city b/c I realized it was not beneficial to my kids to be apart from me, no matter how shortlived; nor fair to my family members who were caring for them in my absence. Long story, short, the court stated that I am not allowed to move any further in distance than I am now in order to obtain better employment opportunities, but I can move closer. Additionally, I have been instructed by the Hearing Officer that if I am going to be out of town for any extended period of time the children will either be with me, or with my ex and that I can not leave them with my parents. Can they do this? How far can they exert their control. My parents are upstanding citizens, raised 5 children and albeit up in age, are wonderful role models and the best influence for my kids by far. Also, b/c of the CO visitation exchange I am locked into a particular site for each exchange. I asked for a change in verbiage to be less restrictive in that it be 1/2 way between the residences of the parents. They would not hear of it. Only said that I could move North, South, East or West - but only the same distance as I live currently. I am considering relinquishing the domiliciary custody to my ex TEMPORARILY in order to facilitate my relocation. How could I do this and be assured that I would get the kids back when I had settled in. He and I have NO communication. It is all negative. He tries to control and make demands and I stand my ground. I am and have always been primary caretaker of the children. I made the majority of the decisions concerning every aspect of the children with little or no input from him during the marriage. Now he wants to play the 'Daddy' role and is using this as a means by which to break me, financially and emotionally. He is on the verge of succeeding. I need my kids and my kids need me, but at the same time I know they need their dad and he needs them. I have consulted attorneys and I have been told; life is full of controls - deal with it. Go ahead, give the kids back, but I wouldn't if I were you; get the counseling records, maybe we can formulate a plan to have the court find living with your ex would not be in the best interest of the kids, but we can not guarantee that after you spend thousands of dollars the courts will grant you what you seek. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!! Sorry so long - many, many issues and my kids future at stake! HELP! :confused:

#202114 - 03/08/07 05:35 AM Re: Custody/Visitation Issues [Re: LostInLA]
googledad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
I have a question before I can even think of replying to every issue in this post . Was your original child custody order agreed to between you and your ex or ordered by a judge ?
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

#202115 - 04/27/08 06:29 PM Re: Custody/Visitation Issues [Re: LostInLA]
susy Offline

Registered: 04/16/08
Posts: 84
Hi, I have to ask a question also. Did your attorney say for you to get records from his shrink when he was in therapy? Does he think you can use them against him?


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