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#212028 - 04/13/07 08:14 PM Re: i need some advice [Re: googledad]
funkymom Offline
recently joined

Registered: 03/30/07
Posts: 11
of course this is not rational, it's completely emotional. i did not create this situation, i am just trying to deal with it as best as i can.

this is not a "deal" that i am offering, it was a suggestion that someone gave me. it is an impossible situation and we are just going to have to try and figure it out.

if this were the "deal" that we agreed upon, i would certainly be willing to pay half of the transportation costs, and i would be willing to waive spousal support (which i'm pretty sure i am entitled to, i have been a stay-home mom for 2 1/2 years) which would help him out.

i might be the one who physically moved, but i believe he created the distance. he knew that this was a circumstance that would cause me to leave town.
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#212029 - 04/13/07 09:57 PM Re: i need some advice [Re: funkymom]
googledad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
[quote] of course this is not rational, it's completely emotional. i did not create this situation, i am just trying to deal with it as best as i can.

&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;I understand your issues with how it happened ( BTDT ) but you have created this situation by leaving the state .

this is not a "deal" that i am offering, it was a suggestion that someone gave me. it is an impossible situation and we are just going to have to try and figure it out.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; If it does become a custody battle , you are in an extremely poor situation .

if this were the "deal" that we agreed upon, i would certainly be willing to pay half of the transportation costs, and i would be willing to waive spousal support (which i'm pretty sure i am entitled to, i have been a stay-home mom for 2 1/2 years) which would help him out.

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; You are willing to waive the right to something you MAY have no right to . Understand this , he is well within his rights to request you pay ALL of the transportation costs .


i might be the one who physically moved, but i believe he created the distance. he knew that this was a circumstance that would cause me to leave town. [/quote]

&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt;&gt; Not legally .

Whether you believe it or not , I am trying to help you . If your husband files for divorce in Wisconsin , he will receive temporary custody and you will be forced to return the child to the jurisdiction of the courts .
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#212030 - 04/14/07 01:57 AM Re: i need some advice [Re: googledad]
funkymom Offline
recently joined

Registered: 03/30/07
Posts: 11
i hear what you are saying, and i do understand that although i truly believe that i am doing the right thing for me and my child, it might not go that way if we do go to court. but, it does look like we are going to at least try to go the collaborative route and avoid court.

i do appreciate your input. i realize that this is and is going to remain a very harsh situation and that you are just trying to show me the cold, hard truth.

i still can't even believe this is happening and am having a very hard time even thinking about the "realities" of divorce. i don't even really want a divorce! i find it so hard to believe that someone can do something so hurtful and damaging to both me and our child.
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#212031 - 09/15/07 11:26 PM Re: i need some advice [Re: googledad]
happydaughter Offline
recently joined

Registered: 09/13/07
Posts: 6
Googledad...perhaps her husband should of thought about what was in the best interest of HIS FAMILY before he banged his wifes friend. You stick to your guns Funkymom. As horrible as things are...THEY WILL GET BETTER. YOU MUST BE THERE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER. Just take one day at a time. I went through a similiar situation 3 years ago. Its exhausting and terrible. Take care of yourself and best of luck.

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#212032 - 09/15/07 11:30 PM Re: i need some advice [Re: happydaughter]
happydaughter Offline
recently joined

Registered: 09/13/07
Posts: 6
I wanted to add...make sure that you write down details as you go along. That was my biggest mistake. Keep a calendar...."Called dad on this day" etc. so you have a record of your attempts to keep in contact. You think youll remember but you wont with everything going on.

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