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#21558 - 07/20/05 04:21 AM Am I A Fool???
SillyDaddy Offline
journeyman

Registered: 03/30/05
Posts: 88
My STBX said she agreed to my proposal last week. My proposal was that I will take the decree her lawyer drew up to a neutral lawyer to look over. First however, I will be making changes to the decree that will basicly reverse everything. I will become the Managing Conservator in a JMC. I told her it was not fair to just all of a sudden expect out 5yo daughter to go from living with me 70% of the time and her Mother 30% and reverse it. I honestly don't believe that would be in our daughter's best interest. She said she agreed. Here is what is strange. Her behavior since she dropped our daughter off with her Mother this weekend. She is spending 2 weeks in Arkansas with her Grandparents. I don't know what to think. Am I a fool for thinking she will go through with my proposal?

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#21559 - 07/20/05 04:48 AM I'm not sure what you mean [Re: SillyDaddy]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
What is the strange behavior? That the child is visiting grandma? So exactly what will your new proposal be? The current decree takes the 70/30 your favor that you have and switches it to 30/70 her favor? And you're proposing to change it to 70/30 your favor, which is what is being practiced. And she verbally agreed?

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#21560 - 07/23/05 12:18 PM Re: I'm not sure what you mean [Re: Melody]
SillyDaddy Offline
journeyman

Registered: 03/30/05
Posts: 88
Her niece is taking showers with her boyfriend. She is spending all her money at the bar. She has to be out of her current appartment by the end of the month and doesn't seem to care. TRhe current decree has her 70/30 her favor. My proposal is 70/30 my favor which is what is being practiced currently. She did verbally agree.

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#21561 - 07/24/05 02:05 AM None of that is relevant [Re: SillyDaddy]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
to your custody discussion. The niece...the boyfriend...not relevant. How she chooses to spend her money...as long as the child is provided for...not relevant. Her upcoming move...again, not relevant. If they end up homeless, then you might have some cause of action. As for trying to make the practiced arrangement be on paper...she may have agreed verbally, but until it's signed you have nothing. All she has to do is say she changed her mind, she didn't realize what you had said, she misunderstood, whatever. Verbal agreements will are difficult to enforce.

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#21562 - 07/24/05 12:46 PM Re: None of that is relevant [Re: Melody]
SillyDaddy Offline
journeyman

Registered: 03/30/05
Posts: 88
Not relevant to a point. I agree that she may do whatever with whoever until I begin to fear that my daughter's safety has become an issue. This guy is psycho it sounds like to me. That's what her text message Friday night/Saturday morning at 3:00 said anyways. As for the verbal agreement not being binding and difficult to enforce I am well aware of that, but we have gone over it several times and I rewally think I believe that she will keep her word. I am ready if she doesn't though.

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#21563 - 07/25/05 12:29 AM Your opinion has no relevance or merit [Re: SillyDaddy]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
in terms of custody changes or visitation restrictions. You must have solid, documented proof that the person that your EX has around the kids poses a danger...not just your feelings. I know you'll disagree, but think about it....do you want your ex controlling who you have around the kids just because she gets a bee in her ass and doesn't like someone that you are friends with? It's the same thing.

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#21564 - 07/26/05 01:42 AM Re: Your opinion has no relevance or merit [Re: Melody]
SillyDaddy Offline
journeyman

Registered: 03/30/05
Posts: 88
I understand and agree. What about the text message she sent to me stating the guys name, the fact he is psycho and that she feared he might do something bad to her?

She has said since then that she is done with him though, so all of this may be for not.

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#21565 - 07/26/05 03:40 AM Her opinion doesn't matter either [Re: SillyDaddy]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
technically, as she is not a professional with the credentials to evaluate and diagnose him. She's just trying to get your attention and you're giving it to her every time you appear to listen and respond. Either block her calls and text messages when you have the child with you...or send back a simple text that says, I am not in a position to assist you, please notify someone else if you have concerns about your safety. OR...do the police thing. I guarantee she will stop this if she is faced with the police.

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#21566 - 07/26/05 03:02 PM Re:guaran dang tee ya [Re: Melody]
alabama Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 02/14/05
Posts: 228
SillyDaddy..may have missed it...but don't pick up from your messages that you have notified any outside parties about your situation ...you did some counseling after you lost your job...did your concerns come up there...if so...then that will suffice...

Otherwise..just as a precaution...just to get some documentation out there...who knows...just in case something happens...and I can hear somebody asking...SillyDaddy...you had all these concerns and didn't notify anyone?...I'd be thinking of some creative ways to get some of my concerns to other people...police...etc...

SillyDaddy...I guaran dang tee ya...I'd take the slightest opportunity to call the police...looking for slightest opportunity is what I would be doing...you gotta draw a line in the sand somewhere...there may be a time in the future when some documentation of this sort might be helpful for ya...could be wrong...hope I am wrong...but strange things can happen...

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