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#219961 - 04/23/07 08:39 PM Re: Yes [Re: 061212]
youngatheart Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 09/04/05
Posts: 9498
Ummm...what exactly do you think needs to happen. Point is, he made a child who needs to be taken care of. Part of taking care of that child means daycare, aparently.

As far as him contributing to the support of your child...are you saying that he only makes $900 a month? If so, he needs to find a different job. He chose to make a child with you, as well as the one he already had, so he needs to find a way to provide for that child as well. If this is a problem, he needs to stop having children.

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#219962 - 04/23/07 08:57 PM Re: Yes [Re: youngatheart]
Witch23 Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 381
After school care is a state by state issue. In TX, NCP's are not responsible for "daycare", it is calculated in CS I guess.

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#219963 - 04/23/07 09:00 PM Re: Yes [Re: Witch23]
youngatheart Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 09/04/05
Posts: 9498
Yes, I know that. But that obviously isn't the case in the OPs situation, as they are paying for daycare this summer.

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#219964 - 04/23/07 09:17 PM Re: Yes [Re: 061212]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
You don't have to pay for all of it. You pay for part and dad is supposed to pay for part. Just like with his other child. Mom pays part and dad is supposed to pay part...based on their incomes since they're in a separation/divorce situation.
_________________________
Char Fox

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#219965 - 04/23/07 09:56 PM Re: Yes [Re: 061212]
Dee78 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
Loc: TN
I think you need to take a step back.

Personal opinions don't matter here, state law is what matters. Each state is different but based on your post I will assume that your bf is responsible for paying for part of daycare. Afterschool care IS daycare because the child can't be left home alone while the mother works.

My question to you is how is THAT being manipulative? She has to work and the child has to be in afterschool care. These are facts that can't be manipulated. Maybe other issues have lead you to believe that she is manipulative but you haven't shared YOUR whole story so therefore WE can't know the whole story.

Maybe you wouldn't make your ex responsible for his child but that doesn't mean that every CP should allow their ex to be irresponsible.

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#219966 - 04/23/07 10:30 PM So you mouth off here [Re: 061212]
Melody Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
AND in private message? How silly!

Ok...so the kid is the second. Either way...if the support order exists, then your H must contribute to the daycare for this child who must be from a previous relationship than yours.

Courts expect people to not have more children than they can afford, so your H has a financial duty to his previous children BEFORE subsequent children. Sorry....but that's how it works. Some states do allow a reduction in CS when there are subsequent children, but not all and not a lot.

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#219967 - 04/23/07 11:20 PM Re: Yes [Re: Dee78]
061212 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 04/23/07
Posts: 10
Okay, here is the current situation all! Bf has 3 total kids. He has been supporting all of them but by the time it comes to our child he barely has enough. He pays for CS, travel expenses, and his bills. Only one mom takes him to court for modifications. One modification took her 6 months to sign because she didn't agree even though that was what CSS calculated, and finally she did. She has taken him to court recently because she wanted sole physical and legal custody. She has even asked him to relinquish his parental rights. Keep in mind he has never been late with CS and visits his child often to remain part of his life. He hired a lawyer because he wanted to have joint physical and legal cutody. She was served the response and called us at 5:45 in the morning that they had to come to a compromise because she couldn't afford to go to court. Keep in mind she filed the papers first.

She has even tried to negotiate the child support but my bf said it wasn't about the support in the first place but instead about spending more time with their kid. That is where the lawyers came in to the picture and layed out these next four months but nothing else. She has in the past visits planned events during his parenting time. Has even had people writing false statements about him to discredit him as a father.

Now, I am not saying anything about paying the daycare I just wanted to know if anyone knew about paying for after care.

As a mother I just want all of the children to be supported equally. Believe me there is more to tell but I can't write it all it would be too long.

As mothers would you prevent the father of your child from having a strong relationship with them? Would you tell your own child that your father is a visitor because that really is what he is? Would you object to the father calling his daycare to find out what the activities are for that week? Would you not put him as an emergency contact for the fear of abduction but place your new boyfriend on the list instead? Would you object to having your child's father's new family around during visits, even though he has known us since he was a year old? Would you tell the father of your child to relinquish their parental rights because the CS has to be modified because he has been laid off and she isn't happy with that? It is a case of no matter what he did, she wasn't happy. THAT IS MANIPULATIVE.

In my case my ex supports my son in every aspect and in no way is he irresponsible. He visits twice a year but calls every other day. I don't object because I know he is in the military and has a very busy schedule. I can see that they still have a very strong bond.

This is most of the situtation!

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#219968 - 04/23/07 11:27 PM Re: Yes [Re: 061212]
Dee78 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
Loc: TN
See now there is more to the situation, what you have to understand is that we were going SOLELY on what you presented to us and you were hateful with your response, namecalling, etc. I can understand being frustrated with the entire situation, my DH was laid off last year and it was a stressful time and I can only imagine how much more stress would be added to it.

But the facts are this, you created a child with a man that already had 2 children. You may not like to hear it but he has a responsbility to those children BEFORE yours simply because there is a court ordering him to be responsible.

If you want your child to be taken into consideration then you have to file for the modification. If your state laws allow for a modification based on subsequent children. However, you should be careful because filing for a modification and sometimes backfire. If his income has increased, if her income has increased, if she has had more children, and a number of other factors could mean an upward modification.

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#219969 - 04/23/07 11:29 PM Re: Yes [Re: 061212]
youngatheart Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 09/04/05
Posts: 9498
Aftercare IS daycare. And, if your state statutes allow for daycare to be added to a child support order, then he will have to pay his portion of the aftercare (daycare).

Regarding the rest, sounds like there's a lot going on. It's hard to make judgements based upon one side. Nor am I inclined to make a judgement anyway.

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#219970 - 04/23/07 11:31 PM Re: Yes [Re: Dee78]
Susanf31 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 10630
Afterschool childcare *IS* DAYCARE. What part about that don't you understand. You keep speaking as if Afterschool care is somehow different than daycare. It's DAYCARE that happens AFTER school.

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