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#228612 - 05/13/07 03:21 AM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: jimmie]
focusedon2 Offline

Registered: 12/10/05
Posts: 2136
I used to drive my kids 30 min. to school and then I would drive an hour to work.

Yes. It was a really hardship but I thought it was in there best interest. There was no one else to share the responsibility with at the time so I did that 2x a day.

If I were the BM, I wouldn't want to drive to Buckeye's SIL 's house, pick up the kid, drive him back to my town to school and then pick him up, drive back to his town and then back home.

My reaction to that is that they might as well stay with me.

I would, however, be willing to compromise. If he got the boy to school, I would get him back to his home. I assume the SIL only has an hour for lunch at the most - getting the at 12 noon, dropping them off some place, and then getting back to his job on time could be impossible.

I wouldn't be willing to do both ways. The cost of gas alone would turn me off to that. But I would be willing to share. I think that's reasonable. Of course, we haven't been given many reasons to believe the ex in this case is reasonable.

#228613 - 05/13/07 03:27 AM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: Buckeye]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
I'd probably call around and see what's available in the area. Sometimes summer camp programs, and day camp programs provide transportation. So your SIL could drive the child to school in the morning, arrange for care for the afternoons, and pick the child up after SIL gets done with work.

I can't imagine that sending him to a different school would be the best thing for his education, unless he could continue in the new school for the fall. This would be a great opportunity for your SIL to have some impact on his child's education....even if it means a little extra driving. The distance might be inconvenient, but it's certainly not insurmountable.

#228614 - 05/13/07 03:38 AM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: Rebecca5]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
Well, if it means anything, the CO states that she must bring the kids TO SIL. He doesn't have to pick them up but must deliver them back to her.

So, if they have to go to summer school, then most likely he will drive them to school and then have her drive them back when school is over each day.

We will just have to wait and see what happens. Hoping that the kids pass and that she will see that she isn't capable of handling the education stuff, and maybe let him have them for the school year.

Edit - when they went to court, this is what he asked for. It was denied. Now that BM has moved out of boyfriend's mom' house (evicted), she called him and asked if things got tough, would he take them for the school year and she get summer time. He was agreeable to that - that is what he wanted to start out with!!!

Edited by Buckeye (05/13/07 03:43 AM)

#228615 - 05/13/07 03:44 AM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: Buckeye]
4yroldmom Offline

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 40
Good luck! There is still a little time for them to catch up before end of year. We are constantly on the phone or e-mailing the teachers about oldest ss, if we don't stay on top of him he slacks off completely - mostly because he is at a point in his life he doesn't care or thinks that no one else does. I have no idea if that's what my parents thought when I was 16 but I also know my dad would have kicked my butt for failing even one class havin been in the military and failure was not an option at school. Especially if you went to a school on base thousands of miles away from the rest of you natural family because your military family and friends would find out and it would be ALL over the base that your parents couldn't handle you.

#228616 - 05/13/07 03:49 AM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: 4yroldmom]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
My family was like that too - if you got a D or below, that was the end of life as previously known. No TV, no telephone, no extra activities, if you were awake, you have a book and were looking at it.

I am hoping that since they started new schools close to the end of the year that they will take pity on them, and pass them on.

#228617 - 05/13/07 04:09 PM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: Buckeye]
Happy Birthday agui667 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/23/06
Posts: 4497
Why would you want a school and take pitty on them? They should not be passed on if they didn't earn it.

#228618 - 05/13/07 05:11 PM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: Buckeye]
Tweeby Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
I don't believe there are many parents who WANT their children to HAVE to go to summer school.

Your SIL says that education of the children is important to him BUT he doesn't seem to want to take the responsibility of proving it.

IF the kids need summer school and he wants his time with them than he is going to have to find a way to work it out to PROVE that their education IS important to him.

I totally understand the frustration of having a CP who does not value the children's education. My husband received custody of their younger son because of the BM's educational neglect. He had NO IDEA what what happening with the kids education, he was blocked from the school records (even the courts had problems getting the records) and never saw a report card. He ASKED for them and she just told him the kids grades, there was always an excuse on why he couldn't see the reports cards.

When he found out that his oldest son dropped out of school at age 15 and the beginning of the 9th grade, my husband filed for custody. He didn't find out until the child was 16 yo and everyone lied about the older child going to school for a year. The BM reason (to the court) about her and the boys lying that the oldest was in school was that she knew if Dad found out he would blow his top and take drastic action and she was right because when he found out he filed for custody.

At 1st the court did not belive my husband's claims because of the laws in our state. The school age for children is between 5 and 18 yo and if the child misses more than 10 days a semester than the parent gets charged with failure to send a child to school. The court was SHOCKED once the school records were obtained. The school principal of the younger child testified in court that she tried to get the BM charged but the school district refused since it was not a "violent" crime (this is a VERY large urban district), the district didn't have the money to go after non-violent problems.

The custody case lasted a year and the court ordered the BM to enroll the older child in school and make sure he attended and that the younger child could only miss school with a documented excuse (doctor or court). The younger child missed 30 days of school that year (a VAST improvement) but only 5 were documented. The BM even stated in March that the custody case should be dropped because the child attened school for 2 weeks straight without missing a day.

The BM didn't care about the kids doing homework. The school principal and teachers stopped at the BM home to check on the child when he missed days and than tried to give help on how the child could make up the work but the BM refused any type of help.

My husband has had custody of their younger child for almost 3 years. We had a HUGE problem the 1st year here since the child never had to be responsible to turn in homework mcuh less to DO homework. There were some gaps in his education that we had to work with the school to fill in those gaps.

My YSS is now 14 yo and about to finish the 8th grade. He will have a HS credit since he was taking 9th grade Math. Next year he will be in honor classes. In the 3 years he has been here he hasn't missed 30 days total and majority of those were documented medical excuses, the other days were excused just not documented. Plus during those 3 years, SS has broken a finger and sprained his hand and his ankle where he needed phsyical therapy. All injuries happened at school (SS is very active and in sports).

Schools usually work with parents who let them know about problems. If the children have to attend summer school, you SIL should go to the school and ask what resources are available since he has to work. Here, we have 2 summer school sessions and they are free if the children are required to attend. There is summer program that will transport the kids to summer school and pick them up afterwards and they give discounts to the parents who have children who attend summer school (since the kids are not in their care for part of the day).

Where there is a will there usually is a way but you have to ask for help.

#228619 - 05/14/07 12:05 AM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: agui667]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
Maybe taking pity on them if they try to get it together and do better.

#228620 - 05/14/07 12:06 AM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: Tweeby]
Buckeye Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/08/05
Posts: 7873
Loc: OH
I hope the kids will do better in this school and maybe since mom is also "going to school", she will see that they also do their homework.

#228621 - 05/14/07 05:57 PM Re: Summer school question.... [Re: Buckeye]
Avaya Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 9850
Loc: Arkansas
Can't go to school in Dad's district because Dad is not the residential parent.

Why does that matter? Besides, if they 'live' with dad in the summer, he BECOMES the temporary residential parent.
Eternity is too long to be wrong.

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