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#250840 - 07/02/07 05:38 PM Changing Names after Divorce
ssmom79 Offline
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Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 7988
My hubby's ex-wife is on divorce #2. Is it up to her what name she uses after divorce? Could she go back to old married name if she wanted or would her maiden name be restored? She says she wants her last name to match her kids.

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#250841 - 07/02/07 06:31 PM Re: Changing Names after Divorce [Re: ssmom79]
matart1 Offline
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Registered: 09/01/05
Posts: 2798
as it will be her name to chose, she can have what she wants with it.
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#250842 - 07/02/07 06:36 PM Re: Changing Names after Divorce [Re: matart1]
ssmom79 Offline
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Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 7988
OH MAN! We really didn't want that answer!

Thanks for your input!

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#250843 - 07/02/07 09:56 PM Her choice... [Re: ssmom79]
almostheaven Offline
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Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Every adult can choose whatever name they want and legally have it changed. The only time they couldn't is if they are changing their name for malicious reasons, to pretend to be someone else or somehow cause some type of harm to someone else. I did the same when I divorced, changed back to my previous married name because my daughter had expressed how she'd been unhappy that we'd both had different last names all those years. No one owns a name.
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#250844 - 07/02/07 09:58 PM Re: Changing Names after Divorce [Re: ssmom79]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
May I ask why? What does it matter what name she uses?

I'm asking for two reasons. If its just because you can't stand her or similar reasons and just don't WANT her having it, then its time to let go of those issues. Because they're your issues and you need to deal with them.

However, if its because you fear she would try to represent herself as his wife for some type of harm, then see my previous response. You would of course have to prove this and you likely couldn't do that UNTIL she's changed her name and done something wrong.
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Char Fox

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#250845 - 07/02/07 10:22 PM Re: Changing Names after Divorce [Re: ssmom79]
Miranda Offline
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Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
My husband's decree states that his ex is not to go by his last name. She still does, not much you do about it, but it was court ordered. He had a separate motion for it. It was called "Petition for name change" or something similar.

I think my husband was most worried about her passing herself off as his wife.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!

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#250846 - 07/03/07 01:03 AM Re: Changing Names after Divorce [Re: Miranda]
ssmom79 Offline
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Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 7988
Frankly I don't care what name she uses. Sure I have my own PERSONAL problem with her taking back her old name, however, I am fully aware that they would be personal issues. I deal with my personal issues OK. It was simply a question out of curiosity.

Now, my husband on the other hand was a little irked because she didn't want his name seven years ago when she left him, why want it now.

We don't get to make that choice, so I guess we will wait to see what she chooses.

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#250847 - 07/03/07 01:21 AM Re: Changing Names after Divorce [Re: ssmom79]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
>>>>>Now, my husband on the other hand was a little irked because she didn't want his name seven years ago when she left him, why want it now.<<<<<

Well, she did state because she wants hers and the kids' names to match. Maybe they've expressed some concern, as my daughter did. It may not be a matter that she wants the name so much as she wants to feel closer to her kids, or apease her kids insecurities or something.
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Char Fox

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#250848 - 07/03/07 01:06 PM Re: Changing Names after Divorce [Re: almostheaven]
ssmom79 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 7988
Well, like you guys said, if she wants the name, she's entitled to it. That's life.

I'm sure it'll be a temporary name change anyway.

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#250849 - 07/03/07 02:04 PM Re: Changing Names after Divorce [Re: ssmom79]
preemiemom Offline
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Registered: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
I can see the "name matching" thing. I also have an issue with the child's names being different than the mother's (if that's who they live with). One of the reasons WHY was b/c I was concerned how my daughter would feel growing up, having a different last name.

So I'm really really glad, AH, that you shared your own daughter's feelings on the matter.. reaffirmed what I feared for my own.

Since stbx and I were married SUCH a brief period of time and given our daughter's age, I petitioned, as part of the divorce to change her last name on her birth certificate to a hyphenated form of BOTH of our last names; however, she will "go by" my maiden name, which is what I will be returning to once the decree is issued.

I did have an issue with his first wife keeping his last name... but not b/c of her per se, or his other daughter, but b/c she was having ANOTHER child, by someone else, who was legally still married.. I had a concern that since her last name was my stbx's last name that she'd try to give THAT last name to the new child. THAT would be a no-no, wouldn't it? I mean, I guess it's "legal" but morally that'd just be super super super tacky no?

She ended up returning to her maiden name anyway, we have no idea what the other kid's last name is.. presumably her maiden name.
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