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#266189 - 08/08/07 03:45 AM Can I move back to my home state?
barton93 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 08/08/07
Posts: 1
I have been married for almost 14 years and we have 2 children together. We lived in Illinois for the majority of our marriage. I was raised there all of my life, and my husband was also raised there since the age of 1 year old. Our children were both born and raised there up until we moved to Iowa. Me and the kids moved to Iowa in June of 2006 and he moved here in late January of 2007. I technically have resided here for a little over a year, but he hasn't. husband cheated on me while I was in Chicago visiting family last month. This woman then went to the police and is accusing my husband of rape. My husband admits that they had intercourse, but denies that he raped her....which I do believe. I believe it was consensual on both parts. Now, this past weekend, my children saw my husband and a "friend" of his that he works with (who he has only known for a couple of months) "making out" in our basement. Our kids witnessed this through our basement window. My husband denies it, but I am convinced that he is cheating on me ( a little over a months time).

I can't help but feel as if he has set me up for this. He has wanted to move out here in Iowa for years. His grandmother lives here as well as a ton of extended family members. I have nobody here. I don't work. I had a job at our local courthouse, but quit after the rape case cause I didn't want to deal with anybody talking about it behind my back. We live in a very small community of about 3,500 people and I quit my job, which is a very public job, to avoid the humiliation on my part because July's incident was his first case of infidelity, and I was willing to give him another chance. Now, it is happening again......and he isn't getting anymore chances, which he doesn't even want. He now wants the marriage to end as well. If him and I divorce, I have NOBODY here except for our children. Is there a chance that legally I could move back to our home state with our children? I think it'll be hard for me to get back on my feet here. Help.....does anyone have any advice for me???

#266190 - 08/11/07 04:08 PM Re: Can I move back to my home state? [Re: barton93]
elliesmom Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 8852
Iowa makes it very difficult to move children away from a parent. Unless you can convince him to move back, because of the humiliation you and the children have suffered in the small community you may be stuck. You can't divorce him in Illinois because you haven't resided there for the last 6 months. If you go back to IL all he has to do is file immediately in IA and you'd have to come back (most likely).

Without knowing what your ex would do it is hard to offer advice. Would he accept more assets with lower CS (to aid in his travel costs) to let you move back?

You can certainly fight to move - you have a decent case for it. But it would be quite expensive and you could lose. The court will not care that he cheated on you. They may care a smidge that he allowed the children to catch him, but that is nothing to hang your case on. Your primary arguement will be that you've lived there for a relatively short period of time and the children would benefit by returning to their old home/school district and being near your family.

All you can do is see an attorney and see what they can tell you usually happens in your area. I have used a Story County attorney whose work I am pleased with if you are interested/close to that area.
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.


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