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#31522 - 09/15/05 05:21 PM non-compliance with joint custody
nancea Offline
recently joined

Registered: 09/15/05
Posts: 7
My boyfriend has been divorced for over three years. He has two sons, a nine year old and a five year old. He and his ex wife went through mediation to decide custody. She gave him custody of his older son and she sees him every other weekend. They decided that the younger one would be on a 4/3 schedule but going against what was in witting they ended up having him on a 2/3 schedule (which to me is ridiculous for a 5 yr old to move around every two or three days). At that time he had not started school so there really wasn’t an issue. He has just entered kindergarten and my boyfriend believes that he should have more stability. He told his ex wife that they needed to work out a better schedule. She said there was nothing to work out that he will be with her full time while he is in school and that my boyfriend can see him every other weekend. My boyfriend did not agree to this and said if that was the case they needed to abide by the legal decision and go to a 4/3 schedule. He even suggested that they do 7/7 that way they would alternate weekends. He also said that way each parent could be fully aware of what went on in school that week and reward him or correct his behavior if necessary. She says that she is the primary care giver and she gets to make the decision and that he will see him whenever she says he can. There is no issue with her other son as she does not care when she sees him. I told her that if they go to court that in my opinion that will say something about her character “giving away one son while fighting for the other.” My question is if there is anything that my boyfriend can do without having to pay thousands in legal fees to get this matter resolved. We are in Arizona and from my understanding the court would just give her a slap on the writs. I told him he should go back to court and fight for full custody if she refuses to cooperate. When his son is with her he is not physically at her house she drops him off at her mothers house and has her care for him. My boyfriend calls him every time he his there and has to end up calling the grandmother in order to speak to his son. The child is extremely behind in school. Cannot say his ABC, barely counts, and cant even tie his shoe and requires assistance to do everything because his is babied so much at the grandparents house he is not taught to do anything for himself. I know that he would be better off with my boyfriend but the legal fees are difficult. Any advice would be great.

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#31523 - 11/10/05 02:34 PM Re: non-compliance with joint custody [Re: nancea]
DanH Offline
journeyman

Registered: 08/23/04
Posts: 77
Hi,
Being in Arizona myself, I can tell you that Arizona has a VERY strong father's rights group. Contrary to popular belief, he absolutely can represent himself AND WIN. If I were him, the first thing I would do, is insist on following the EXISTING order. The reason being, that it is the ONLY enforceable thing that he has. If they haven't filed a stipulation to change the order, then the order as originally written is what is enforceable. Secondly, if I were him, I would document each and every violation of the order, and file contempt of court charges accordingly.

It has been my experience, that the more documentation you have, the better off you are. Document the issues with the child's scholastics. If your boyfriend has joint legal and joint physical custody, his ex absolutely does NOT have the right to ignore the visitation order.

-Dan

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