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#335719 - 01/14/08 06:41 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: 1004SRS]
lifegoeson Offline
addict

Registered: 12/28/06
Posts: 415
This subject is soo rediculous. All these DIVORCED people talking about MORAL issues. What kind of example are you sending to the kids when you get DIVORCED??? Some posers 2 or 3x divorced, yet they have a moral issue with a bf/gf spending the night!!!Kids arent stupid. Do ya tell the kids, "Well, you will be at other parents for the weekend, so I am going to sneak-around and have my bf/gf spend the night when you aren't here." Gosh ya all, its natural to want to spend the night with your bf/gf. I can see if its a revolving door, then the parent may not be fit and you would be asking for supervised visitation. But to be told by the courts or a controlling bitter EX that, " I still have controll, and you cant have bf/gf sleep over. hahaha" That is just wrong. Most of us are grown mature adults. I'll be damned if I would let anyone tell me if I can have an over-night guest or not. Not to mention that the new bf/gf might actually be a GOOD influence on your child. Not all people are immoral imbasoles. Do you all realize that some may be gay or bi-sexual, and in your papers it states no over-night guest of the opposite sex? So if dad now decided he likes men, he can have a man sleep over? Or what if its just a friend of the opposite sex? A friend that may need a place to stay for the night, and you would have to turn them away because of a morality clause? Not to mention, that you can have sex anytime of the day, so does not staying over-night really help with that? Sad that a grow adult can be told who and when someone can spend the night in their own hom. I think the morality clause is just a control issue and always will be.
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#335720 - 01/14/08 07:10 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: lifegoeson]
1004SRS Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
Gee...

I could have stayed divorced and let the X continue cursing at our toddler son or chasing me around the house calling me a wh0re or sneaking out of the house at all hours of the night or visiting the OW or denying the kids.

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#335721 - 01/14/08 07:17 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: 1004SRS]
lifegoeson Offline
addict

Registered: 12/28/06
Posts: 415
There are 3 sides to every story. What does that have to do with a morality clause? I was with my EX, father of my child, 15 years. We weren't married for 2 reasons. One, I don't believe in marrage, at least not in societies point of view. And second, due to my health issues, if we were to have married, I would loose much needed health insurance. So, becuse we weren't "married" in the eyes of the law, then my child should think that her mother and father are terrible immoral people? I think not.
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Stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone.

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#335722 - 01/14/08 07:38 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: lifegoeson]
1004SRS Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
Please - get to know me and then bash away.

XH agrees that he took advntage of me and was mean when we were married. He did the same thing to wife number 1. THe same thing to his live-in gf before we were married. The same thing to his college gf. He admits it.

I am not judging you. I don't know you. You act like I care if you are married. Nope. But, I would not let MY children spend the night in your house if you were sleeping with someone that is not your wife.

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#335723 - 01/14/08 08:25 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: JMA]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
She doesn't get the right to add clauses as she fits. Only the judge can do so. As for adultery, that will depend on your state. Generally, if you've been apart this long and are in the process of a divorce, it won't matter, but as a rule, it's always best to wait until the ink dries. Even if it's not an issue in your state, the judge may frown on it and therefore hold a grudge against you come hearing time.
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#335724 - 01/14/08 08:27 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: lifegoeson]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
And in some instances, the spouse was hit with a divorce, didn't want one, and it's because the other party has a new love and wants to be with them right away. And so they DO grant a morality clause in certain cases and see the need for it. I guess that's why they're sitting in judgement and not you?
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Char Fox

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#335725 - 01/14/08 08:29 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: 1004SRS]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
>>>>>I am not judging you. I don't know you.<<<<<

No, only certain people are permitted to do that. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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Char Fox

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#335726 - 01/20/08 01:54 AM Re: Morality Clause [Re: almostheaven]
momx3 Offline
old hand

Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 1036
IMO, morality clauses are a waste of time and can be counterproductive.

The time I spent working the legal field, I found that most people would just quickly marry a BF/GF so that the morality clause didn't apply. Next thing you know, they're married a couple of years then filing for divorce.

As a matter of fact, that is how my DH got wife no. 2. lol
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#335727 - 01/26/08 02:05 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: 1004SRS]
JMA Offline
recently joined

Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 6
Thanks all,

I now understand the two different reasons a morality clause is used. One is to contol the stbx's life (un-justified), and the other is protect the children (which is justified). I guess it depends on the issues. Of course if someone had different woman or men in their house, etc, then yes by all means apply the clause. However, if your going to use out of hostility, to further control the stbx, maybe thats one of the reasons they left in the first place.

I want my children to meet my GF, she is level headed, moral, and has good principals. If she was anything less then that, then why would I allow them to meet her, after all do have morals.

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#335728 - 01/26/08 03:04 PM Re: Morality Clause [Re: 1004SRS]
JMA Offline
recently joined

Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 6
Based on how you worded this reply, I don't think that you should let your kids stay with anyone you don't know regardless. Just joking here.

I'm not looking to have the kids sleep over night with my girlfriend just yet... I do have morals. I just want them to meet her so that we could all spend time together. Now whats so wrong with that?

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