Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Page 2 of 4 < 1 2 3 4 >
Topic Options
#352687 - 02/17/08 04:44 AM Re: But you're not done...(DeeCee) [Re: icwal]
icwal Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/19/07
Posts: 334
Dee, you are entitle to all discovery information that you need. I know a while back Maury posted a very helpful list of all discovery papers that you can ask for, but I am not sure where it was posted. Maybe he can help.

Top
#352688 - 02/17/08 04:46 AM Eventually, but... [Re: icwal]
almostheaven Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Read PR's post. Between each postponement are rescheduled hearings, cancellations due to the court docket, etc. And not all courts move so swiftly as to have a hearing every month. Some schedule you 6 months down the line. So if he gets a postponement, then they reschedule it another 6 months later, well....there's a year gone. Then say the judge has to reschedule due to a conflict on the docket or any old reason? They notify you of the new court day...5 months later. And on it goes. Generally, they won't put their foot down until one party has postponed several times. And even then, they may have protocol that forces them to give one more opportunity or something that will drag it on for another scheduling.
_________________________
Char Fox

Top
#352689 - 02/17/08 04:49 AM Re: But you're not done... [Re: icwal]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
I, like anyone else from Judges to lawyers, have a bias. But every case is different. It is imposiible to distill specific issues in a limited formum like this. The one thing I know is that divorce is too expensive and it is often expensive because parties argue about things, not based on money, but control. It is as much a psychological issue as a legal one.

Top
#352690 - 02/17/08 05:41 AM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: icwal]
BetsyR Offline
member

Registered: 07/13/07
Posts: 187
lcwal, I'm hoping that if my stbx has to pay substantial temporary support, he won't be tempted to drag it out, for control or for any other reason.

My biggest immediate concern, & posisbly also the biggest concern of many posters here, is getting some money to live on while the divorce creeps slowly, slowly through the court system. For example, I have to maintain the expensive marital home on my small income, since stbx won't pay the insurance or get the furnace fixed on his large income. Other people have even more urgent needs -- kids at home, or disabilities, or no money for a lawyer. It would be fantastic to have the whole divorce over and done wit, but in the mean while, it would be such a blessing to have Temporary Support.

As i understand it, here's how it works in NY. Maybe the same rules apply in other states:
1. once the stbx has been served w/ the divorce papers, he/she has 3 weeks to respond. My stbx is very unlikely to respond on time -- he's been hiding his head in the sand for so long, his @ss is all sunburned!
2. When time is up, if I don't hear from him, I file a RJI, asking for adequate temp. support, as well as discovery and other things. The info about stbx's finances may be slow in coming, but according to my lawyer, the court will almost always order temp. support at a more generous level than permanent support.
3. Stbx may not pay TS, but then he/she will be in violation of a CO.
4. Since stbx has to pay a substantial sum every monht, more than permanent SS would be, he/she has a much greater incentive to get a lawyer, provide discovery documents, keep appointments & generally get the divorce finished. Of course, this procedure would only work if TS is likely to be higher than permanent SS.

Seems to me that this is a good plan for getting my carefree stbx and his lazy lawyer to buckle down and work on the divorce! Would this work for your situation lcwal?

PR, it's clear from your posts that your stbx would rather lose a fortune than give you a buck, but maybe this plan would work for most folks. It's worth a try, isn't it? Maury, what do you think?

btw, I've been married 30 years and my stbx earns about 7 or 8 times what I earn, so I could get SS if I wanted it. I don't want it, but I sure can use some help with the marital bills. which I've been paying by myself.

Top
#352691 - 02/17/08 05:50 AM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: BetsyR]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
I work in Minnesota and Wisconsin. I have no greater knowledge except what I research and learn here.

1. once the stbx has been served w/ the divorce papers, he/she has 3 weeks to respond. My stbx is very unlikely to respond on time -- he's been hiding his head in the sand for so long, his @ss is all sunburned!

In Wisconsin a response is 20 days. In Minnesota it is 30 days. However, courts are extremely reluctant to default parties even if they respond late.

2. When time is up, if I don't hear from him, I file a RJI, asking for adequate temp. support, as well as discovery and other things. The info about stbx's finances may be slow in coming, but according to my lawyer, the court will almost always order temp. support at a more generous level than permanent support.

I am not sure the court awards temporary supoprt more generously than permanent support. Of course financial circumstances are important.

3. Stbx may not pay TS, but then he/she will be in violation of a CO.

If there is a court order that is true. If assets are lost, it may be something that is faulted to the person failing to pay under an order. As a result, the other party gains more in property division.

4. Since stbx has to pay a substantial sum every monht, more than permanent SS would be, he/she has a much greater incentive to get a lawyer, provide discovery documents, keep appointments & generally get the divorce finished. Of course, this procedure would only work if TS is likely to be higher than permanent SS.

It is always an incentive and discovery that is formal should always be served in such cases. Depostiions are usually critical.

Top
#352692 - 02/17/08 07:27 AM Re: Why do people drag it out/Betsy [Re: Maury]
icwal Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/19/07
Posts: 334
Betsy - My STBX is still living here so Support is not an issue right now. I was a SAHM for 16 years and married for 25 years so I am sure I will be receiving some kind of SS and CS.

I could be wrong but as long as no TS is being given to you I thought that both parties are responsible for maritial bills - Someone please let me know if I am wrong.

Top
#352693 - 02/17/08 05:27 PM Re: But you're not done... [Re: icwal]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
"If he does keep postponing things won't the courts catch on and get sick of the games?"

----> No because the courts are backed up and filled w/ pple like your stbx.. It is just status quo.

Both parties have to certify to being "ready for trial" before a trial date can be set. The court will grant a reasonable amount of time.

Reasonable "could" be more than a year (or more). Each party has the right to the time necessary to "prepare". It takes a long time.

Be aware that one doesn't decide to go the trial route to "speed things up" or "to save money". It doesn't.
_________________________
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato

Top
#352694 - 02/17/08 06:56 PM Re: But you're not done... [Re: icwal]
DeeCee Offline
addict

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 420
The original question stays in my mind too. In my situation my stbx really thinks after 14 years of marriage it's all his. And I'm entitled to nada. That's why part of me feels I'm dealing not only with an angry spouse but has he lost his mind? Sincerely. Can rage make you lose your mind. It also makes me wonder how can he mentally be ar ease with OW and psychologically switch to thinking I will go through all this legal fighting to prove what that I was all of a sudden non-existent. I find myself now in this position of organizing and collecting document after document from years ago (those I'm lucky enough to be able to find) to prove my existance in this marriage inorder to validate to a court, Hey I am married to this man..I built a home with him and because he erased me out..doesn't mean I didn't exist!

Top
#352695 - 02/17/08 09:53 PM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: icwal]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
Quote:
I have a simple question that probably doesn't have a simple answer. Why do some people take so long to finalize their divorce? I hear so many times "It took our divorce 8 years", or "We are now into 4 years trying to come up with a settlement". Why don't more people just go to court and get it over with? Maybe its because the laws differ in each state? We are coming up with a settlement right now, and if my STBX doesn't agree to it then I am going to court. I have nothing to lose or hide going to court, in fact I welcome it, and since I am the one that filed I have that right to pay for a master and get this over with. I am not judging anyone how they handle their divorce, just curious why it takes so long for some people.


Neither took me that long because I was so deperate to get out of both.

It's 100% tied to money and control. Some would like to say the kids but that is pretty much decided by state statute.

Greed.
_________________________
GO CUBBIES!!!!

Top
#352696 - 02/17/08 09:54 PM Re: Why do people drag it out/Betsy [Re: icwal]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
Quote:
Betsy - My STBX is still living here so Support is not an issue right now. I was a SAHM for 16 years and married for 25 years so I am sure I will be receiving some kind of SS and CS.

I could be wrong but as long as no TS is being given to you I thought that both parties are responsible for maritial bills - Someone please let me know if I am wrong.


I have learned nothing is "for sure" in court.
_________________________
GO CUBBIES!!!!

Top
Page 2 of 4 < 1 2 3 4 >



Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: