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#352707 - 02/19/08 06:12 AM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: icwal]
kmich91261 Offline
member

Registered: 01/15/08
Posts: 119
Loc: Washington, USA
icwal, I understand your thoughts on thoughts on this. However how about to just confirm a childs shoe size? Now come on, if all I'm doing is asking if "Johnny still wears a size 13 shoe, right?" and the reply is leave me alone, and she has the kid. Isn't this taking it to the extreme? Come on a little common sense is warranted, isn't it? This really doesn't help foster a good realtionship with the child in my opinion but makes it toughter.
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"Get busy living or get busy dying." Shawshank Redemption

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#352708 - 02/19/08 08:59 PM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: icwal]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
Quote:
I have a simple question that probably doesn't have a simple answer. Why do some people take so long to finalize their divorce? I hear so many times "It took our divorce 8 years", or "We are now into 4 years trying to come up with a settlement". Why don't more people just go to court and get it over with? Maybe its because the laws differ in each state? We are coming up with a settlement right now, and if my STBX doesn't agree to it then I am going to court. I have nothing to lose or hide going to court, in fact I welcome it, and since I am the one that filed I have that right to pay for a master and get this over with. I am not judging anyone how they handle their divorce, just curious why it takes so long for some people.


As a side note, my first wife STILL, to this day, basically "stalks" me. I mean, I can't make a move without her somehow knowing about it. To the point of it being scary. And she lets me know she knows this stuff.

This is 13 years later and she is remarried.
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#352709 - 02/19/08 09:42 PM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: Relayer]
DeeCee Offline
addict

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 420
Quote:


As a side note, my first wife STILL, to this day, basically "stalks" me. I mean, I can't make a move without her somehow knowing about it. To the point of it being scary. And she lets me know she knows this stuff.

This is 13 years later and she is remarried.


that's bizarre.

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#352710 - 02/19/08 09:42 PM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: kmich91261]
icwal Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 11/19/07
Posts: 334
kmich...I am not faulting you or trying to judge you, however it is sound advice that your lawyer would probably recommend you use. I know alot of people on this board also practice the "no contact" rule. It just opens alot of avenues that can get you in trouble when you communicate with each other. I would like to hear from other posters on this subject.

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#352711 - 02/19/08 10:41 PM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: DeeCee]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
Quote:
Quote:


As a side note, my first wife STILL, to this day, basically "stalks" me. I mean, I can't make a move without her somehow knowing about it. To the point of it being scary. And she lets me know she knows this stuff.

This is 13 years later and she is remarried.


that's bizarre.


I'm really serious. She knows where I have been, when I come and go, a lot of stuff. Then an email pops up questioning me on it. And really scary is she rarely leaves her house.

I know she purposely made "friends" with various people I have met after the divorce. People she would never met but somehow has.

It's not as bad as it was but for the for 10-11 years it was horrible.

If I thought she was the least bit dangerous, I would file an OP but she's not. Just obsessed.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#352712 - 02/19/08 11:27 PM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: icwal]
kmich91261 Offline
member

Registered: 01/15/08
Posts: 119
Loc: Washington, USA
icwal, I understand you aren't trying to judge or fault me. It just seems so idiotic that in this day that at least some courtesy or common sense for that matter can't be used. If my STBX called me up confirming our son's shoe size I wouldn't tell her to leave me alone. How can a person get off by saying "leave me alone" when all I'm asking is to confirm a shoe size about our child which she has? All this is doing is hurting our son in the long run in my honest opinion. This is the same person that has text messaged me and said please don't contact me unless it is about our son. The actions don't fit the words.
_________________________
"Get busy living or get busy dying." Shawshank Redemption

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#352713 - 02/20/08 02:50 AM Re: Why do people drag it out? [Re: kmich91261]
DeeCee Offline
addict

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 420
Quote:
icwal, I understand you aren't trying to judge or fault me. It just seems so idiotic that in this day that at least some courtesy or common sense for that matter can't be used. If my STBX called me up confirming our son's shoe size I wouldn't tell her to leave me alone. How can a person get off by saying "leave me alone" when all I'm asking is to confirm a shoe size about our child which she has? All this is doing is hurting our son in the long run in my honest opinion. This is the same person that has text messaged me and said please don't contact me unless it is about our son. The actions don't fit the words.


I personally can see where concerning your children (especially if you are all living under the same roof through a divorce..exchange of basic information regarding the child is neceassary) it may indeed be prudent to speak. But if it goes beyond that..that exchange of information is going to turn soon give way to some trivial disagreement. Of course if two people who are amiable during their divorce naturally talking and giving information is not harmful. But if the divorce is not amiable I don't see why engage in conversation.

My stbx knows that the only way to get at me is to say cryptic remarks or jabs or speak in a condescending tone. I'd like to say that it bounces off me, but I often felt hurt and insecure to receive such biting remarks. I must say the less exchange since I took a lawyer has been like lead lifted off my spirit.

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