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#36635 - 10/17/05 08:08 PM Mediation Help!
BigEasy Offline
journeyman

Registered: 10/17/05
Posts: 78
I'm told that mediation is a cheaper alternative to hiring two Attorney's. How do I pursue identifying and retaining a mediator? I assume the Mediator is someone my wife and I would have to agree upon. I can see where this is going to be a problem. Maybe the discussion about not handing two Lawyers most of the money will be heard.

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#36636 - 10/20/05 12:01 AM Re: Mediation Help! [Re: BigEasy]
kav Offline
old hand

Registered: 06/11/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
My stbx and I went to 1 session with a mediator and then we just did it between ourselves. The things I do know about mediation is it's usually a lawyer that does it and a lawyer can refer one to you. A mediator works for both of you and it is much cheaper. They're suppose to be impartial with the two of you and help you to come to an agreement on the separation of assets. If you still can't reach an agreement they should refer you then to attorneys. If there is a lot of anger between either one of you and you can't sit down to negotiate, mediation won't work. I hope this helps you some.
Good luck
Kim
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Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.

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#36637 - 11/07/05 01:50 PM Re: Mediation Help! [Re: kav]
stayathomedad Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 4
Loc: Southwest Louisiana
In SWLA; court ordered mediation is the way to go if you want a say in the outcome. And it is definitely cheaper!! The court draws from a poll of certified mediators. Ours was a judge & the hourly rate was $125 per hour divided between the 2 parties based on your income formula decided by the court. It was working great and we had custody & visitation done and recorded in court as an order. We started community property and her attorney convinced her to pull out & fight in court. She still had to go with the mediated agreement on custody & visitatation. But 10 months after filing we are now going to cout for the ruling on rule 102 and community poperty has not even been addressed. My suggestion to everyone is; get into mediation and stay. At least you 2 have the option of deciding & not leaving it up to a judge. their dockets are full & their time is limited and you won't necessarily get what you consider is right or fair. But that is what "mediation" is for.
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Knowledge & Research are Your Best Defense! Bryan

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#36638 - 01/08/06 04:34 AM Re: Mediation Help! [Re: stayathomedad]
Frog Offline
newbie

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 36
How do you find a mediator???? That sounds like a good option for us.

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#36639 - 01/12/06 04:34 PM Re: Mediation Help! [Re: Frog]
jah Offline
recently joined

Registered: 01/12/06
Posts: 8
Loc: Washington State
I didn't use one, but I did do a search of my closest big city with mediator. It pulled up some names for me. Or try divorce, mediation. That should do it.

Good luck

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#36640 - 01/12/06 04:50 PM Re: Mediation Help! [Re: jah]
stayathomedad Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 4
Loc: Southwest Louisiana
"I assume the Mediator is someone my wife and I would have to agree upon."
Have your attorney speak to the Judge. In SWLA; the courts have a pool of mediators they assign someone from. Ours just happened to be Judge & a very good mediator. But not even the best can make you agree if one is intent on litigating. That is why I recommend getting the courts to order the 'mediation'. That way if one party refuses to mediate in good faith; the mediator is bound to give feed back to the Judge. I know our mediator called my attorney & the judge. Wrote a letter stating my X was not negotiating in good faith & would testify to the same.
Hope this gives you some insight. <img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
_________________________
Knowledge & Research are Your Best Defense! Bryan

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#36641 - 01/23/06 10:39 PM Re: Mediation Help! [Re: stayathomedad]
tnjed Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/07/05
Posts: 9
Loc: God's Country, USA
Mediation worked very well for me. We met for 3 1/2 hours with a mediator who was a retired attorney. It was well worth the $200 per hour he charged, since it helped us avoid a court trial and more legal fees. Actually it started off with us glaring across the table at first, but by the end of the session we actually had some laughs. Mostly she was laughing that I would have no furniture after she got finished moving out.
We got all of the issues settled in the session. I am waiting for the mediator or my lawyer to write up the settlement and present it for signing. Hopefully, we can settle the divorce and move forward.


Edited by tnjed (01/23/06 11:17 PM)
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Tennessee, Tennessee, there ain't no place I'd rather be.

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#36642 - 02/15/06 04:05 AM Re: Mediation Help! [Re: tnjed]
Anna75 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 3
Loc: Anoka, MN
Anyone have suggestions on preperation for mediation? My ex and I agreed to this- i suggested it since i am a mediator myself but not for child custody issues so i'm a little out of my element on this one.
Our mediatior is a psychologist and from what I hear, one of the best in the Minneapolis, if not the state. Ironically, it is the only one that both my ex and myself- with our lawyers- both had on our 'suggested' lists we threw into the 'pool' of candidates. I like that she is a psychologist cause she will either cause him to be on his best behavior and she'll be able to validate his nasty behavior which i'm sure will show it's ugly face sometime during this process. He's already threatened to make up whatever he had to about me to get his way. I'm hoping she can see through his crap.
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Anna75

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#36643 - 03/26/06 05:11 PM Re: Mediation Help! [Re: Anna75]
fooledx2 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 03/26/06
Posts: 5
can anyone provide info on mediators in AR? i am in a rural area and cannot find any info on mediators in this area.

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